A Matter of Time
by j3nnee
Summary: Neal is having a bad day before the holidays. Memories of the past are depressing him and nobody's helping. Amidst his wishes for things past, he finds a rare and interesting object. Expect spoilers from Seasons 1 and 2, angst galore and some whump.
1. Chapter 1

"_Love me when I deserve it least, as that is when I'll need it most."_

_~Anon~_

**(Chapter 1)**

He was tired of being treated like he was nothing more than a tool to be used till his time was over. Peter wasn't mean to him so much as he had become more firm with him and less lenient after the Fowler incident. Hughes and Peter were walking on eggshells with the higher ups after what had happened and Neal was the main reason for it. Peter knew there was someone behind the scenes trying to get at the con artist, they had discussed it in the past but after everything that had happened, Neal had less protection regardless of what Peter or Hughes thought. Someone wanted him out in the open and they wanted to destroy any chance he had to be free.

Neal sighed, getting up after a moment and making his way over to what passed as a coffee maker. He poured himself a cup of mud and took it back to his desk where a large pile of case files awaited him. He had barely glanced through a third of the stack but he was familiar enough with the idea of mortgage fraud he didn't have to read much to get the gist of them. They were doing a clean out of cases and their department was busy going through the unsolved cases mostly dealing with mortgage fraud. He sighed, writing down more notes on another boring file and then taking a sip and crinkling his nose at the coffee. He was not a happy camper. He gazed over at Peter's office and saw the agent drinking the same crappy coffee and moving between the files and PC like a pro. He wondered how his friend managed such boring tasks without complaining.

Another hour crept by and it was barely 1 pm. Neal felt his mind turning to the same consistency as the coffee and just as brackish. He had begun to fold origami shapes after a bit when he reached the halfway point. He wasn't so much bored with the task, that was a given, but today was a special day and he had asked for it off but Peter had said no. Obviously only Neal remembered what today was and it had been hard enough on him to get up and think about the significance of the date without having to go to work. He fumed silently, eyes staring deeply into the ceiling when he got bored enough. Someone coughed.

"Neal..."

He turned to see Peter looking down at him. He must have been distracted if he didn't hear or notice the agent come down to scold him for not working. He sat up straight again, a deep frown on his face as he looked up at the older man. Peter looked about to say something but Neal beat him to it, knowing full well what he was going to say.

"I know I know... get to work. You can go back to your files, Peter." Neal spoke testily at his friend who seemed about to say something again then stopped with an almost hurt expression before he nodded and left towards the stacks of files and cases. Neal didn't like fighting with Peter but they'd been on eggshells since his last big screw up. If only he could go back and turn things around, he'd do it. Or would he? Neal gave a sigh and started working on the nearest file, his eyes blurring as he rubbed the sleepiness from them.

**()()()**

It was around 2 pm that Peter told Neal he could go home early. The consultant had been more than surprised, knowing that they were far from done with the work at hand but there had been no arguing with Peter when he said to go. Neal nodded, putting away the files he had finished and the handing the unfinished stack which had shrunk considerably to the agent. Peter barely said good-bye to him as he headed back up to his office and started on the small stack he'd acquired from Neal. He watched his friend from below before finally pulling closed his jacket and heading out.

When Neal reached the lobby and exited the building into the coolness of the afternoon air he felt a chill not just from the weather or season but the almost dismissive attitude Peter seemed to have had today. They had all been on eggshells but this had been different. There had been no acknowledgment of him as if he wasn't too important. He sighed thinking maybe he was seeing more into than he was but another part of him, a quiet part that had been piping in lately seemed to think otherwise. He pushed it aside but that voice like Mozzie's own paranoia had a way of making him turn and listen.

No... he was just being stupid!

Neal sighed, walking further into the throng of people but feeling a sudden panic overcome him that made him feel he had to get away if only for a minute. He needed to get out of this crowd. Neal started to run and finally ducked into a nearby alleyway and crouched behind a dumpster breathing hard. His breath came out in tiny puffs of steam as he tried to calm and keep his sanity. He had to especially today.

It took a few minutes to get himself calm again but soon as he did he regretted his current position and choice to hide. His nose was cold and frozen but it didn't keep him from smelling the nasty aroma wafting from the dumpster he hid behind. He crinkled his nose taking a gloved hand to push himself up as he used the dumpster for leverage. It shifted slightly and he noticed a kind of glint just underneath along the edge of the dumpster bottom. There was something there! He stood but then promptly bent over and pulled the object from beneath the small space under the metal box. He took out his handkerchief reluctantly and wiped at the object's surface, eyes widening in disbelief at the find.

"It can't be..." He was just staring at it as the item glittered back at him enticingly. Neal gazed around but nobody was around so what was the harm in taking it. He could quietly advertise the item was found or have Mozzie ask around but if nothing came back couldn't he technically keep this? A broad smile crossed his face as he pocketed the item, wrapping it gently in his handkerchief and walking down the opposite side of the alley towards the street.

**()()()**

When 5 PM finally rolled around, Peter couldn't be happier. He had been so into the groove with doing the case files he felt he had forgotten something. He stood, stretched getting all the kinks out and grabbed his jacket and coat putting them both on quickly. He turned off his PC and turned off his light as he started out of the office and waved to Hughes who was as usual on the phone busy. His boss nodded at him before turning to continue his call. Peter was glad to be going home, happily running down the steps and looking over to where his partner normally was. He stopped midway and slowly made his way down to the bottom and blinked. Neal was gone? It took him a moment then he remembered.

_I sent him home._

Peter sighed, giving a quick wave to Jones and Diana on the way out as he pulled the glass doors open and walked up to the elevator and pushed the button. Neal had left a few hours ago and probably best he did. Peter had noticed the young man had been working diligently but something was bugging him so he had decided to let him off early. Maybe tomorrow he would act less antsy... he hoped. The elevator dinged and Peter stepped inside as the doors opened and pushed the Lobby button, doors closing with a quiet whoosh.

In the lobby it was pretty quiet, the holidays coming up and everyone was either upstairs working quickly to get home, do shopping or get ready for something or already out doing one of the latter items. He knew Jones had a date tonight so he was working quickly and Diana was expecting Christie's parents later that week. Everyone was stressed or busy with anticipation. He smiled as he thought of Elizabeth. She'd had her plate full most of the month but this weekend she was free and since it was Thursday they were going to start the celebrating early by going out to their favorite place, maybe walk in the park and go for a drive to see the lights if possible.

He looked up as he exited the building, walked around to the FBI garage and approached his car. He was happy if nothing else and now that he thought about it...

_Dammit!_

Peter paused halfway opening his door and rubbed at his face with his free hand. Now he remembered what was so significant about today. At least he had given Caffrey a few hours off but... would the younger man appreciate it considering he had asked for the day off? Peter sighed and felt like a first class heel. How could he have forgotten? He sighed again getting into the car and closing the door. Maybe Neal was at June's and he could call him or stop by briefly. Apologize? Yeah... take him to dinner with... No maybe not that but he had to do something. He had to make this right.

**()()()**

Neal made it to June's and found Mozzie waiting for him when he went upstairs. His friend had gotten his message and now he could tell him if what he suspected was true. Mozz was already refilling a glass with more wine when he turned at the sound of the opening door and paused like a deer in headlights.

"Please, continue Mozz. I know you come for my company and not my impressive wine collection." He smirked teasingly his friend nodding as he continued to pour wine into the glass and grabbed up another.

"Well you can't help having access to some great wines staying here at June's. Speaking of which, you have to try this one. She just brought it up a few minutes ago. It's superb!" He was already pouring the second glass with some, corking the bottle as Neal closed the door and went to join him out on the terrace. It was just barely 3 PM now but he knew Peter was probably still burning that candle in the office. He'd spent the last hour or so walking the park and thinking about things before he'd finally called Mozz about his find and gotten over the worse of his disappointment over the day. If only he could just redo it...

"Earth to Caffrey. Communique from Mozz..." His friend was waving at him before he blinked and looked at Mozz somewhat irritatedly.

"Sorry, just... Never mind." He got up and walked to the edge of the terrace and leaned on the edge looking over with a far away glance. Footsteps neared and he felt Mozzie near him.

"I know what day it is. Suit made you work I heard. I told you they were heartless..." Mozzie paused when Neal turned and glared at him holding up a hand in surrender.

"I'm just saying..." He didn't finish as he took a sip of his wine and Neal kept looking over the edge at the city. She had been here, Kate and he missed her every day since. Nobody understood not even Mozzie. He had teased him with Peter that day they'd met each other. He sighed wanting to jump off the wall but not feeling like straining himself by having to climb it. Instead he turned and went back inside with little word to his friend but hearing Mozzie's steps following on the Spanish tile till the sound changed to a softer step on the wooden boards of the floor within his apartment. He plopped down unhappily on the couch and leaned back eyes shut. He could still go visit her grave if he wanted but since he was off work Peter had more than likely already changed his radius back to the 2 miles.

"Neal, I can take flowers if you want." Mozz sounded sincere enough or maybe the wine was mellowing him out. Neal shook his head as he sat up straight and rose again. He walked over to his jacket he had hung by the door and reached inside the pocket till he pulled out he item he had found. Mozzie was watching him as he walked back and dropped the item into the other man's lap.

"Can you tell me what that is?" Neal sat back down waiting as his friend blinked, put down his wine glass and started to unwrap the item he'd found from the handkerchief. As the item was revealed it seemed to glitter even more brightly as Mozzie held it up with two fingers as if it were on fire and dangled it in his grasp. He gave a small gasp of amazement.

"Neal... where in the world did you find this?" His friend sounded truly impressed. Neal felt a small smile curve his lips.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. So it is what I think it is?" Neal was hopeful as he watched the impressed look of his friend, glasses reflecting the shiny gold surface back at him as he held it in the same manner and kept twirling it round to see all sides.

"Just tell me. I just can't... these are so hard to find and this one looks about as near mint as you're going to get. Neal... this is an incredible find." Mozzie just kept admiring the item more and more squinting at something on the back of it as he moved it closer to dangle right over his nose. Neal sighed.

"I found it in an alleyway under a dumpster." He saw Mozzie look at him disbelievingly before turning his attention as if he'd said nothing back to the item in question.

"It's only... a... ma... matter of... time." He blinked as did Neal looking to see what he was reading. Mozzie pointed with his free hand.

"Someone had this inscribed. Neal we have to get rid of this. No way the suit will believe anything you say about this. This watch is so incredibly rare I don't see why it would have been under a dumpster." Mozzie still sounded like he thought Neal was lying but obviously he didn't care one way or another. He was staring at the shiny yet rare timepiece with a fascinated look. Neal nodded.

"That's why I want to see if I can find out who it belongs to. Put out a few feelers. Someone may have stolen it and dumped it there when they couldn't sell it off. Can you put the word out there... well at least enough to figure out who it belongs to?" Neal gazed at his friend who just stared at him curiously.

"You want to FIND the owners? Neal... this is a rare piece of art. It's one of five made. It's..." He was looking for a way to describe it when Neal piped in, holding up one hand.

"I know what IT is. I just want to be sure I go through the legal channels to find the owners. If they don't show up well... I might just keep it." He was smiling a bit now, Mozzie nearly dropping the watch but placing it on the coffee table in the cloth.

"Neal, they won't let you keep something like this once the Suits find out about it. Especially Peter. You know he'll always suspect you stole it and so will every other suit. Nobody just finds something like this on the street especially a 'former' con man." He got up and walked over to the sink and washed his hands before walking back. Mozzie spoke as he wiped at his hands.

"You have to get rid of this Neal. It's just going to bring you bad luck. Trust me. There's some bad hoodoo going on if you're just finding rare items like this floating around. Some one's setting you up. I'm just saying..." Mozz had seen the look on Neal's face to shut up but stayed standing, his eyes moving down to the item on the table as if it might bite him.

"Just put out feelers, Mozz. Please? If nobody claims it, I'll figure something out. Thanks." He smiled at the con and Mozzie just shrugged heading for the door.

"Keep that out of sight and I'll do what I can."

**()()()**

Neal sat on the sofa a little while after Mozzie left. Finally he rose and walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a small tackle box and walked back to the sofa. He spread out the handkerchief, now dirty with the equally dirty watch on it. It had been a bit filthy when he found it probably why Mozz had been so reluctant to hold it with more than two fingers. Neal opened up the tackle box and pulled out two fine cotton gloves and pulled them over his fingers before taking out a small bottle marked "jewelry cleaner" and some q-tips. Cracking his fingers like a pianist, he took the dirty timepiece into one hand and started to delicately clean it.

It took all of thirty minutes before he realized the item was about as sparkling and shiny as if it had just been made. He had cleaned every last inch of the watch between the face and body, each link of the band which had been the dirtiest part and around each delicate knob. During his process he noticed things about the watch that made him wonder about the owner. The face had some extra gems inserted around a small animated image on the top right quarter. It was one of those watches that changed the image from day to night as time progressed. At the moment it was currently set between the two, some odd gems placed above and below the small window. Neal wanted so much to pry the top off and look at the gems. They appeared to be pyrite but he couldn't be for certain unless he opened it up which he wasn't sure he should do.

Neal finally gave in and opened up the back of the watch finding a bit of rust inside which surprised him. He took out another small bottle and started to clean the little bit of corrosion which was minimal to the gears and clockwork till they shone every bit as well as the day they were made. He smiled at his handiwork, forgetting about looking at the gems as he closed the back up.

_It's only a matter of time._

What kind of engraving was that? Who placed such a time worn saying onto a rare and beautiful timepiece such as this? He tried to figure what they could have meant when he decided to wind it up. Wouldn't hurt to see if it worked. He'd been so busy worrying about the find and excited about its discovery he hadn't even thought to see if it worked. Now he could see it in action!

It only took a moment as he started to wind the watch with gently motions. He had already removed the white gloves, now dirty and was handling the item as gently as he could. After about a minute of winding he paused and held the device to his ear.

Nothing.

He frowned trying to wind it yet again but only for thirty seconds this time around. These pieces were very delicate and if you over wound one you could easily break it which is maybe why the owner had dumped it if it had indeed been legally dumped. Perhaps they'd had it in a safe because it was broken and someone stole it. The thief could have figured out it was broken after the fact then dumped it in their haste to be rid of the object. Sounds like the likely story seeing most two-bit thieves were far from patient when it came to handling broken valuables. He finished winding for the second time and listened.

Nothing.

Neal sighed, staring at the object and realizing how bad his day truly was if he not only missed out on going to visit with Kate but found a remarkably rare timepiece only for it to be broken. Just his luck. He dropped it down with frustration onto the coffee table and made his way with his glass and Mozzie's to the sink. He washed and replaced Mozz's in the cabinet but refilled his own as he stood there in the small kitchenette and stared across at the watch. The gods in their infinite humor were definitely playing with him now to drop such a golden item into his hands only to have it be less than worthy of the time he took to clean it. He started to feel the unsung hero of sorts of at least somewhat in the vein of Job if anything but he was less than happy about it. His faith was far from revitalized by such acts as this and it only served to remind him how unreliable the world and people truly were.

There was a knock at the door. Neal perked up, walking quietly towards the door and listening. He heard it again and paused midway.

"_Neal? It's Peter. Can I come in?_"

Neal blinked his gaze narrowing a bit as he thought if he really wanted to talk to the agent today. He finally sighed and called out.

"Just a minute!"

Neal quickly hid the watch and tools back in the wardrobe while he placed his glass on the coffee table. He mussed his hair a bit to look like he had been asleep or something before walking over to the door and unlocking it. He opened it but a few inches, blocking the view with his own body just out of habit. He saw Peter standing there an uncharacteristically chagrined look on his face.

"Peter. What brings you to my neck of the woods?" He tried to sound a bit smart alec as he usually did but Peter just ignored it, his brown eyes looking apologetic.

"Just thought I'd... well... Are you going to let me in?" He sounded a bit flustered if not frustrated. Neal blinked but finally moved aside and let the agent in the room. Peter seemed to be nervous about something if not slightly upset which was not like the agent at all. Neal was in no mood to really know what was going on, his own mood soured by the events of the day and the significance of missing out on it. He closed the door, leaning against it when Peter paused to look at him.

"Elizabeth had a late client meeting so our date night is out but... I was wondering if you wanted to go out and get a drink or something?" Peter seemed sincere enough but the fact he was always the back up plan when Peter's went south irked him today with all the bad he'd already experienced. He was of a mind to tell the agent something nasty when another knock came to the door. Neal put on his facade and called out.

"Who is it?" He waited a moment before June's lilting voice called out. He opened the door and smiled at his landlady. She smiled warmly at him as she peered between the two men.

"I'm not interrupting anything am I? I just wanted to know if you were going to be in for dinner. Maggie is making some rosemary chicken. I have to go out to one of my meetings for a bit but I just thought I'd ask." She stood beside him in the doorway, Neal uncertain what to do between June's kindness and Peter's presence that irked him to no end at the moment.

"I'm not certain yet, June but thank you." He gave her a little squeeze when she hugged him and left, her face looking between Peter and Neal before she disappeared out of sight. Neal started to close the door then stopped looking at Peter with a not so happy expression.

"Was there something you needed Peter because if not, I think I'm going to turn in early." He suddenly had a terrible headache and all he wanted to do was change and get into bed. He saw Peter shake his head then walk over and put a hand on his arm.

"Look... I just wanted to apologize for today." He almost sounded sincere Neal thought but his mood was pretty sour and he wasn't sure he wanted to forgive him yet. He shrugged at the agent.

"Is that all?" His tone was less than friendly, Peter giving him a glance of disbelief before nodding and grabbing the knob from him.

"Just know that I'm sorry, Neal. See you tomorrow..." Peter's voice trailed off as he exited the room and left. Neal didn't bother to watch, closing the door immediately and leaning against it as he slid down to the floor and sat there with his back leaning on the frame.

_Damn him!_

Peter always did this to him and then expected him to just roll over and take it. Yes he made a mistake with Fowler but was he going to have to pay for it the rest of his life? He cursed, hitting the door frame with his hand as he felt warm tears roll down his cheeks. He wouldn't forgive Peter for this. Never! Maybe... maybe he should have never taken this offer and gone back to prison. He would have been safe seeing he hadn't taken the deal yet. Four years. Maybe it would have been better there. No Peter... nobody to worry about or act like they worry about him. Kate would be alive...

He had barely thought that when he heard a loud squeal of brakes and something like a thud echo up from the street below. Neal was on his feet in a second as he ran to the edge of the terrace and gazed down. On the street below he could see several vehicles stopped but in the middle of the street laying still was a figure. He couldn't quite identify them but suddenly his heart leaped into his throat as he recognized the beige overcoat.

_No... it couldn't... be..._

Neal was downstairs before he could even realized he was there, out the door and by the agent's side. Peter didn't move, his eyes staring skyward, dull and glassy brown. Neal was crying but now he felt something wrench inside of him as he held the agent's bloodied hand in his.

"Peter..." He was pushed aside as paramedics arrived and started to check the agent's vitals and injuries. It was barely enough time but they placed sheet over the agent as Neal crouched there looking dumbfounded and transfixed by the scene.

He couldn't... Peter wasn't... Not today...

"Sir... Are you a friend or family member. Sir? I think he's in shock. Sir... can you tell us about the victim... sir?"

Neal didn't hear the voices of the paramedics and police talking to him as he sat there by the sheet covered form of his partner and zoned out. Peter was gone. Peter...

Everything spun around him and suddenly he passed out.

**oOoOoOo**

**Author's Note:** _I like doing different versions of the same idea. Get a kind of overall view of something. Very few of my fan fics are connected to one another. This is sort of in the vein of the last story only I added a bit of a twist borrowed from a Dresden File's fan fic I did a while back. It won't be obvious in this first chapter what's up but in the next one it will be. Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Rare though true love may be, it is less rare than true friendship._

_~F Rochefoucauld_

**(Chapter 2)**

Neal didn't remember what happened next. He woke up in June's on the small sofa in the foyer by the stairs. His eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room, a faint light wafting in from the dining room as he slowly sat up and tried to think why he was here. He was forgetting something. Something very important.

"Neal?"

June's voice was soft but there was a hint of vulnerability there he hadn't heard before. He blinked at her uncertain of why she would look so sad.

"June? What's wrong? Why am I on the sofa. I..." He was trying to remember what he had been doing before his memory went blank. He had come home early. He had talked to Mozzie about that watch then he had spent about half an hour cleaning it only to find out it didn't work. His mind went hazy after that. June came and sat beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders and leaning his head on hers.

"It's ok, Neal. They said you had a great shock. We all did." She was sniffling now and he looked up to see tears rolling down her cheeks. He moved away enough to really look at her and then at a figure that approached the door to his right and knocked on it. June excused herself a moment, wiping at her eyes as she rose and walked over to answer the door. Neal just stayed where he was although he did stand up when he heard his name mentioned in whatever quiet conversation they were having. June looked back at him sadly if not worriedly before nodding and the figure stepped inside as his landlady locked the door again and they walked towards him. Neal squinted in the dim light to see who was approaching when they came close enough he could see. It was Reese Hughes.

"Sir?" Neal felt a kind of cold chill wash over him thinking he had done something wrong. Why would Reese be here unless he was in trouble or something had happened. Panic made his heart race and a cold sweat break out on his forehead. June seemed to sense his distress and had him sit but he refused as Hughes held up a hand to calm him.

"I'm not here to take you in or anything, Caffrey. Neal..." He had never used his first name before. Something was wrong. Maybe he should call Peter?

"We need to take your statement about what happened. I understand you were the last person to see him... alive." Hughes' voice shook, something that rarely happened and he could see a strained attempt at keeping his gruff exterior. Someone died? Who...

Neal suddenly had a flash of himself up in his apartment angry at Peter. The agent had tried to apologize and he had thrown his pity back at him and his apology. The agent had gone away looking anything but happy. Neal had been mad, his anger taking over a normally sensible person but he wasn't going to let the agent take advantage of him. Then he had heard the screech from below and the loud thud. He had run to the edge of the terrace to see what had happened and...

"Peter's dead." He said it slowly and deliberately, his voice barely a whisper. June still at his side helped him as he wavered where he stood and felt the world starting to fade out again. She made him sit and Hughes looked at him worriedly.

"Neal, I'm sorry. You can come in a few days. Give your statement. I... I'll talk to you then." Hughes hesitated a moment before nodding to June and showing himself out. Neal was shaking now, leaning on June but looking at her finally as he tried to realize what he had remembered. He could see Peter's body covered with a sheet and then he had blacked out.

"June..." He was looking at her with a desperate look and she nodded understanding.

"Elizabeth has already been informed. It's been a couple of hours since the incident. Her sister is with her. The paramedics brought you inside when you fainted. Oh, Neal!" She was hugging him tightly now as he lay his head on her shoulder and felt warm tears falling down his cheeks.

**()()()**

Neal was exhausted and empty. He had finally cried on June's shoulder but he didn't want to believe it. He had to be dreaming. This was some terrible nightmare he was having during a terrible night of sleeping on the anniversary of his girlfriend's death. No. This couldn't be real. He didn't want it to be real as he thought back to what happened. He didn't... why today? Why Peter? What happened?

He didn't bother closing the door as he entered his rooms on the top floor and shuffled listlessly across to close the terrace doors. It was chilly outside and he was already so cold inside from the day's events. He had barely closed the doors when he heard it. Neal turned to find the source of the sound, looking around tiredly without really trying but something about the sound made him curious. His first instinct made him look up at the wall but that clock didn't make any sound.

Neal blinked as his eyes stopped on the wardrobe near his bed. He walked towards the wooden structure, the sound getting louder although still muted from being inside something. He opened up a drawer and pulled out the tackle box of jeweler's tools till he pulled out the noisy item. It was the watch he'd found. It seemed to glitter in an odd manner the face almost shiny with sunlight he thought although the room was bathed in the dull glow of a nearby lamp. The light caught his eye and he thought he could see something glittering just beneath its surface. He drew it closer to his face to look seeing one of the pyrite gems seemingly glowing.

He must be tired he thought, walking from the wardrobe watch still in hand as he fiddled with the band. He opened and closed the stretchy band with his fingers as he paced the apartment like a man obsessed. It had to be a dream. Peter couldn't be dead! He was trying to wrap his mind around the idea when he heard his cell phone ring. He walked towards his jacket to pick it up, fumbling in the pocket till he found his cell and answered.

"Hel... lo?" He hadn't looked at the caller ID but from the sound of sniffling on the other end he knew who it was.

"El?" He could hear her breathing but she sounded so very upset and he gave her time to find her voice. Neal wasn't sure what to say in this situation, his own shock still so fresh.

"Ne... al?" Her voice cut off and he heard the call drop. He pulled it from his ear to see why but there was nothing there to say why. He started to dial it again when he felt a sudden pressure around his temples, his head throbbing with pain. Neal felt nauseated as he dropped the phone and ran for the bathroom. He knelt before the toilet and started to throw up, his chest and stomach hurting him. The shock had finally hit him hard and he let go until he couldn't throw up anymore and he collapsed back against the wall and slumped there. His ears were ringing as he sat there, voices talking to him one over the other as he tried to listen but couldn't when they all spoke at once.

_I can't... I don't understand._

_One at at time... can't hear you._

He closed his eyes and covered his ears to escape the noise when he heard a distinct voice call out to him. Neal concentrated on it and soon the headache and the rest of it started to fade till only that one voice was talking to him.

"Neal... Hey! I need to use the bathroom too. Neal?"

He stood up and looked around finding himself in a totally different place and in the shower naked. He tried to think how he had gotten here as he turned off the water and reached up a towel. It was in a familiar place and then it hit him.

"NEAL! I have to get ready. Open this door!"

The voice was feminine and very annoyed. He blinked, barely wrapping the towel around himself as he stepped out and walked to the forgotten but not so unfamiliar bathroom door to unlock it. He saw the knob turn and open to find a very angry Kate there. She glared up at him with mock irritation as she looked at his dripping form and the towel wrapped loosely around him. He suddenly got shy and tightened his cover grabbing a robe from behind the door as she stepped inside and grinned.

"Good morning, handsome. Why didn't you answer me?" She seemed more concerned than angry but just seeing her made him speechless as he gazed at her and tried to think what he should say. She sighed and moved to the sink to quickly spread out her makeup and other essentials. Kate had been fairly straight forward and neat like himself. He just watched her as he continued to drip a bit. She finally turned, hands on hips and gazed at him curiously.

"Neal... you're making a mess! Why are you looking at me? I thought you had somewhere to be. Mozzie called." She started to go on and on about something and suddenly he realized this had happened all before only...

"Neal are you listening to me? You need to call Mozzie. He said something about that bond thing you're doing. Don't give me any details till we're done and out of here. I need to start packing and get our passports." She was suddenly rushing out of the bathroom past him with a brief kiss. He just stared at her flustered and unable to move. This had to be some kind of dream if not weird hallucination. Wasn't he just at June's.

_Who was June?_

A part of him felt confused as he finally made a step out of the bathroom and quickly dried off. His mind was coming back into focus. Bonds. He was meeting the buyer today. Mozzie was checking out he details for him and he had to call back but...

"Neal, stop gawking and get ready." Kate was rushing past him again as she entered the bathroom and closed the door and he heard the water start to run. He shook his head as he dried it with the towel and finished drying the rest of him, quickly rushing across the loft to get his clothes. Mozz had promised him info about the buyer but he had to get there soon as he looked at the clock so he had no time to call.

Call... he had to call Mozzie. Neal finished putting on boxers, socks and was barely pulling his jeans when he grabbed up his cell and dialed the number. This felt different. He heard the ring tone as he pulled on a tee and pushed the phone back to his ear and started to button up his shirt around him. Finally he heard the click and someone answered.

"Bout time you called. I was about to give up on you. Don't go." Mozzie's tone was straight forward, crotchety and somewhat paranoid. Neal blinked, slipping on his shoes as he tucked in his tee and shirt one handed.

"What do you mean '_don't go?_' Mozz... this is a big opportunity for me and Kate. We're running off the radar after this. Getting married." He was smiling at that last remark but he heard the sigh on the other end. Mozzie had never understood.

"Don't... do... this. Just don't. Trust me. I checked out the buyer. Something fishy and you know me and fish. Not good!" Mozzie was firm in his warning as Neal nodded at the cell and smiled as he saw Kate come out of the bathroom fresh and lovely looking her hair wrapped up in the towel.

"Ok Mozzie. I'll listen this once but you need to tell me where I can get this money. Ok? I need it." Neal heard his friend give a grunt and they hung up. Kate was looking at him curiously as he walked over and lifted her up into a hug.

"Neal! What are you doing? Why are you so happy? Who was that?" She was looking at his cell on the bed and then at him. He shook his head.

"Nothing at all. Let's just go. You wanted to do that so let's just do it! I don't need this job. We'll just go!" He suddenly felt excited and free. She looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"But you said you needed to do this. Your last big job. Are you sure?" She was looking at him for something and he just nodded, smiling. Kate seemed relieved by that fact her lips curving into a smile of her own as she reached up and kissed him.

"Well, I guess I should get ready then. I had expected to have a little more time but if we're going..." She winked at him as she started towards her own small wardrobe and started to pull out clothes. Neal moved towards a small bag on the floor, a brown messenger bag and slung it across his chest. Kate turned to look at him curiously.

"I just need to get rid of these items and then I'll be right back." He was smiling at her but she shook her head as she quickly threw on clothes and started to slip on her socks and shoes.

"I'll go with you. We can have some coffee or something and then come back for our things now that we have time." She was smiling broadly as Neal nodded and waited for her. Kate was finished in no time, grabbing up her handbag as they headed out of the loft.

**()()()**

They had a great afternoon, walking through the park flirting when Neal turned to run away from Kate teasingly. He barely moved three feet when he knocked into someone, the messenger bag around his chest falling to the ground with him and the person he had run into. He was confused at first then he saw Kate's look, her face ashen and pale. She held a hand to her mouth just gazing down at Neal initially then at the person he had run into.

"Neal..." She whispered in a frightened tone. He turned to see who he had crashed into and found himself face to face with a scary yet familiar figure.

"Can't even walk in the park without bumping into some... Caffrey? Neal Caffrey?" The man looked at him with a look of surprise that soon turned to bemusement. It was Agent Peter Burke, the man who had been chasing him. Neal was frozen where he had fallen looking at the man who sat beside him on the ground. The agent was grinning.

"Just the person I was looking for and... hmmm looks like you dropped something. What is this?" Agent Burke's hand picked up a paper that had fallen from the now open messenger bag. Neal's eyes widened as he realized what it was. No... they were going to be free. He was going to be with Kate. This couldn't be happening.

"Neal Caffrey, you have the right to remain silent..." The agent was reading him his Miranda Rights as he started to stand and brush himself off, hand reaching behind him under his beige coat. The agent drew out a pair of handcuffs as he reached a hand down to help Neal up. The con shook his head.

No... this wasn't way it was supposed to be. He had stopped the deal. He wasn't selling them. He was destroying the bonds!

He turned to look at Kate who looked absolutely terrified as she just stood there shaking and trembling. He saw another plain clothed agent come up behind her but couldn't say anything before he saw Kate's hands pulled behind her and she was being read her rights. Neal couldn't move as he listened to the litany of rights read to them both.

It never happened like this. He... Kate hadn't been arrested. She had been somewhere else. It wasn't like this! Neal kept shaking his head as the voices of the agents grew in volume although he could hear Peter's most of all.

"_...if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you..._"

Neal covered his ears and cried out just before everything went black.

**()()()**

"Neal? Neal?"

Someone was talking to him but he was too far gone to know who until the pounding in his head stopped and he felt hands holding him as he sat on the floor. Floor?

Neal looked around and found himself back in the bathroom at June's with his landlady kneeling beside him. She looked worried. He looked up at her and sighed. It had been a dream.

"June?" He just looked at her confused till she helped him up and he followed her to the sink where she helped him clean up and then back out into the main room.

"Just rest. Change and I'll be back with something warm to drink." She didn't look so good herself as he watched leave him, the door still partially open. He did as she asked, slowly undressing and seeing his pajamas already on the bed. June had probably been there a while then. He sighed trying to make sense of things as he pulled off his shirt and the right sleeve snagged on something. He looked to see that the gold watch was on his wrist. He glanced at it curiously, slipping out of his pants and pulling on his pajama bottoms. The time piece glittered oddly at him but not as it had before his hallucination. He looked at the face to find that something had changed.

"Neal, you decent?" June's voice came from the door and he quickly pulled a tee over his head and nodded as he answered.

"Yes, come in June." He was still in shock as he tried to think of what had happened and felt the tears begin to well up in eyes again. Peter was really gone. He sniffed loudly as he felt arms surround him and June was sitting with him on the edge of the bed.

"It's ok, Neal. Just let it out."

**()()()**

He woke up some hours later in bed. Neal could only just recall June talking to him, soothing him, her own tears and sadness evident before he lay back in bed and she tucked him in as if he were her own child. It felt good, reminding him of an earlier time in his life. If things had been different maybe... maybe he would have taken a different route. He would have never met Kate or Mozzie and definitely not Wilkes or Keller.

Wilkes...

The man had been a brute to say the least, coming from the mean streets of Detroit and New York. He was a mean person with little capacity for mercy. If you did him wrong, you were pretty much a dead man. Neal remembered meeting up with him at a bad time in his life when he had been desperate for cash.

Neal sat up, pulling aside the blankets and turning on the bedside lamp. He rose quietly and padded across the cold wooden floor boards of his apartment to the bathroom. When he was done he came back into the main room to the kitchenette and poured himself a glass of water.

There was frost on the windows when he looked at the terrace doors, opening up the curtains when he walked over to stare out through the icy panes. It was cold for this time of year but it was cooler yet in his heart knowing his friend and partner was gone. He gave a deep heart sick sigh that seemed to take everything from him as he hobbled back over to the bed and sat down. He opened the drawer on the nightstand and pulled out the glittering object within.

The timepiece actually seemed to glow from within, another pyrite crystal shimmering. He stared at the small animated sun and night as it moved to night suddenly. Neal blinked thinking he must be dreaming when he felt the urge to place the watch around his wrist. There was a kind of tingling feeling, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end in response to whatever was happening. He felt sick again as he had earlier but this time it was less intense with his head hurting more than anything. Still, he couldn't stay upright, slipping from the bed down to the floor as he felt a sudden weakness. Neal didn't understand why but he closed his eyes as he was once again assaulted by pain and voices.

_We could have been good together..._

It was Wilkes' voice he heard, Neal trying to open his eyes but unable to. The man sounded pissed off and he knew why. Neal didn't want to fight anymore so he let the pain take over and passed out.

**()()()**

Neal was barely twenty-one but he was a smart twenty-one year old. He was good at what he did even without a high school diploma. He was excellent at one of the oldest professions in the world: thieving. It was while doing this he came across Ryan Wilkes. They worked a few times together but Neal wasn't happy with what Wilkes was doing. He intended to fix that.

He found a small club mid-town he wanted to enter, using his verbal gifts to extract enough info off a regular to get in with her without her knowledge. The bouncer let him in, a big fellow with a not so nice attitude and Neal found himself in _Club Excelsior_ mingling with the big dogs. This was a place to be if you wanted to pick pockets of other thieves, the rich or wanted to duck into the back and find out what was underground. It was basically a nightclub that fronted for an illegal gambling house among other things. Neal had researched it thoroughly and knew they had to have some big money in here hidden away. He was determined to get to it.

Neal ducked into the men's room, waited for the place to clear then quickly climbed up on a toilet, unscrewed the vent over the stall and was inside in a heartbeat, grate pulled up behind him. He had studied the plans and it had given him enough info on the place to get in and out quickly. He just had to go down a few dusty ducts to get to the room he wanted and he was light and skinny enough to make it through the ventilation system to get there.

He paused before a vent when he heard voices, listening to get a gist of the conversation.

"I told you before what would happen if you conned me, Parks. I appreciate the work you've done for me but our partnership ends here."

The voice was smooth but unrelenting in it's tone, Neal recognizing Wilkes voice. Then he jumped, the sound of a gun going off scaring him as he covered his mouth. The figures outside and below the vent moved around quickly, two of them picking up a limp form and carrying them away. The man who spoke remained, putting the gun back in his desk.

"So glad I had that soundproofing put in here."

Neal wanted as far away from here as he wanted but the man kept speaking to himself and the young con was still too scared to move.

"Now if I could find another good shooter for this job. Parks will be hard to replace."

He listened to the man taking in all the information out of habit before his mind came back to him and he realized he needed to get out of there. He shuffled quietly but quickly towards the destination. He was going to have to do this fast.

Neal dropped into the room through the now open grate, putting it back as if it had never been opened. He knew the owners weren't too worried about thieves so there were no cameras, only an alarm on the door to the room itself which meant the vent was free of detection. Shame on them for leaving him such a nice opening. He smiled, pulling out his kit as he started on the safe before him. It was a small one but hefty none the less. This was simple snatch and grab once he had the safe open and had filled his pockets with the cash. Wilkes would never know what hit him much less the people who owned this place. He hoped this would prevent the plans of said people since the money was for such an event and he couldn't let anyone get hurt.

He was done. Closing up the vault and moving back over to the vent to get back in when the door to the room beeped, opened and the sound of clapping could be heard. Neal turned to see Wilkes standing there and along with him the dead Parks.

"Bravo, Caffrey. I honestly loved watching you crawling through the ducts. You're a regular snake slithering through those dusty pipes. I never though you had it in you but I guess you did. Thank you for telling me about this Parks. You're my number one again and since we're going to need a new safe cracker soon, call that brother-in-law of yours. I think we have an opening."

Wilkes voice was cold, but not as cold as the metal suddenly in his hands. Neal froze wondering how he had been trapped. Parks had known about the heist but how? Neal had told nobody about this and the man with the plans wasn't a player. His jacket was taken as two men emptied out his pockets and held him firm. Wilkes grinned evilly.

"You're wondering how I caught you, Caffrey? Park's brother-in-law knew the architect who made his place. Johnson. Ring a bell?"

Neal cursed realizing he'd been set up from the start. Wilkes must have known about him wanting to stop the job he planned. This felt wrong. It felt like something had gone wrong and he shouldn't be here. He should have escaped. He had...

"It was nice knowing you Caffrey but this is where our partnership ends. No hard feelings?"

He waited for the bullet to hit him when there was an ruckus from the main area outside the door. Neal watched Wilkes turn with an annoyed glance sending his men to check it out.

"**FBI! THIS IS A RAID!**"

The voices carried across the hall and into the small room. Wilkes glared at the younger man.

"I wouldn't doubt this was part of your doing. Watch him!" He left the gun with Parks who held it steadily on Neal as Wilkes ran out to see what was up. Several minutes passed and Wilkes hadn't returned, Neal looking for an opportunity to escape.

"Figures. Leaving you to get caught while he runs away. You know he has a back door nobody knows about." Neal said it casually as he saw Parks perk up but look at him suspiciously. When he didn't say anything else the shooter looked at him again and spoke.

"Back door? What back door?"

They could still hear voices in the background but coming closer now. Parks looked nervous as he listened, Neal taking the chance and moving a bit closer as if being confidential.

"He showed me once. It's in that small storage room where he keeps the extra supplies for the club. Behind the left shelf." Neal was lying through his teeth but he could see the gears behind Parks eyes starting to roll through as if he believed him.

"Show me!"

Parks waved the gun at him so Neal was stuck with his lie and when Wilkes got back, if he got back... they were both dead men for good even in Parks didn't know anything. Neal nodded and led the way although a bit reluctantly, gun shoved in his back.

"**FREEZE!**"

Neal stopped turning ever so slightly when he felt Parks pull the gun from his back and turn. There was an agent there, someone he felt was familiar but shouldn't... didn't know. But they were familiar even under the protective gear.

"Drop the gun! Slowly turn around and put your hands on your head."

The agent although older than him was obviously giving Parks an out but the man didn't want it, raising the gun and pointing it at Neal.

"You lied about that exit. This is YOUR fault! Wilkes was right about you..." Parks started to pull the trigger back when there was a report. He felt something hot hit his shoulder as he fell back against the wall. There was a second report and he watched Parks falter then drop the gun and collapsed to the floor. Neal slid to the floor as the pain hit him, his shoulder aching. He started to pass out but someone was shaking him, gently working to keep him alert.

"Hey... Buddy. You ok? We need a medic here stat! Geesh, you're just a kid. Hey... stay with me. Wake up. Someone help me with him."

The man was helping him, putting pressure on the wound with his hand to stop the bleeding. Neal felt spacey from the pain but those brown eyes kept staring into his. Something familiar there but this wasn't how he remembered it. Different...

"My name is Peter. What's yours? Where's that medic?"

The man sounded worried, continuing to comfort him as he tried to stay awake.

"Ne..." He couldn't keep his eyes open, body relaxing as the pain and blood loss overcame him. His last thoughts were of those brown eyes.

"He's crashing! Over here! Hurry!"

He heard the man's voice as he passed out into darkness. The voice comforted him despite the fact he was an agent. There was something oddly familiar about it.

**oOoOoOo**

**Author's Note:** _I wasn't going to use quotes but while writing the first chapter I found that quote in the chocolates I bought. So this one has another fitting quote from same said chocolates. Hoping for a 3rd significant quote in the same box. :D Thanks for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

**(Chapter 3)**

Neal woke up to someone nudging him and a voice that sounded very worried. It took a few minutes for him to fully rouse, his head still swimming at the thought of his shoulder hurting. He wondered if he had lost much blood when his eyes finally opened and he found himself looking up at an older woman crouched over him. He tried to think who and then his mind started to work again as he felt things coalesce back into shape.

"June? What are you... why am I on the floor?" He was confused, looking around as he sat up and she helped him lean back against the bed.

"Neal are you ok? You were so still!" She looked scared, frightened as she looked at him. He just blinked back unable to comprehend what she meant.

"Still? I don't remember anything. I got up and had a drink of water and then..." He thought back to the bathroom earlier that day, his mind feeling as if it were leaving him if not his sanity. If he was blacking out then he had far more than shock to worry about. This was a syndrome as Mozzie would call it.

"I'm going to call the doctor. You need help, Neal. You're still in shock from Peter's death but this isn't normal." She hugged him close, Neal clinging to her afraid to think he could be sick. It hadn't been but a few hours since what happened, not even a day and he had yet to deal with the full force of his friend's death or to visit with Elizabeth to comfort her.

Elizabeth.

He sighed feeling guilty. It was his fault somehow. Peter was dead because of him. If only... he should have been on that plane with Kate. This would all be finished. No more problems for Peter and he would be alive with Elizabeth.

No, he couldn't have left. Peter wouldn't have solved so much without his help or he without the agent. They were so much two sides of the same coin and yet... Peter could survive without Neal even if he had died in the plane with Kate. He would have gone on with Elizabeth to comfort him. Things would have been good for them and the investigation would end at some point with both of them safe.

Maybe... he could have waited. Finished his sentence and then found Kate. Would it have changed anything? He wouldn't have been working with Peter but he'd have Mozzie and Alex. They'd have helped him.

He felt all these possibilities swirling through his head of how he could have left Peter alone and safe. Never having met or worked with him or ruined his life with his problems. The ring man would have grabbed him and things would have been good at least for Peter.

"Neal? Honey... are you ok?" June had turned his head to look at her and he just stared blankly, uncertain how to think. His mind was circulating with so many _what ifs_ as he tried to make sense of it all. He shook his head feeling that ache again and feeling himself pulling at the watch and finally removing it as it rolled under the bed out of sight.

"Neal... what's the matter? Talk to me." She kept her eyes on his and with the watch off he seemed to be able to think again. The thoughts had ceased for the most part and now he was filled with emptiness and a deep gaping void from the day's events. He just slumped against her and let her hold him as if she were his mother.

He just wanted to forget... to wake up and not think about anything. To end the pain and suffering. To keep from hurting anyone especially Peter. The agent should have been safe and yet...

"I'm so tired, June. I just want to rest." He looked at her languidly as she helped him back up into the bed and tucked him in. Neal didn't want to move or think or do anything. He just wanted to fade away and vanish. If he could cease existing, he would if only to spare anyone else from being hurt by him. He curled up in a ball under the blankets and hid there, comforted in some way as June sat beside him on the edge of the mattress and gently caressed his hair. She was humming softly and he started to think of his own mother so many years ago when she was still alive. She used to sing to him and brush his hair to help him go to sleep.

**()()()**

When Neal woke up next he could hear the sounds of the city outside the closed doors of the terrace. But that's not what woke him up. He finally rolled over and turned to the nightstand to see his cell phone buzzing angrily at him like a bee in a jar. He didn't want to talk to anyone and the sun was just too bright for what little peeked in through the small portal window just over the foot of his bed.

_Bzzz... Bzzzz..._

It kept buzzing till finally it did stop and he found himself ducking back under the covers to hide. He felt weak as if he'd been drained of some part of himself. Neal just wanted to fade away and let the darkness take him if it would help things. Make the universe right. Those thoughts drew him further into sleep when he heard a knocking on the door. It was soft at first but slowly more insistent till he gave a weak groan and sat up again, his feet slipping under the blankets to the floor as he shuffled towards the door.

He was just about to open it when he heard voices behind the wooden frame.

"_He wasn't answering his cell? He's been sleeping all day. It's nearly noon and I thought he could use it. He's been feeling ill since what happened. The doctor is going to come later to see him when he's free. Maybe..._" June's muffled voice seemed to grow less audible which made him think they were whispering. He wondered who it was that was coming to visit as he slowly opened up the door and peered out.

"... They had an argument. Mozzie said... Neal? You shouldn't be out of bed."

He saw June push forward with a motherly manner to ease him back into his room and towards his bed. As she entered the room he could see who it was she had been talking to. His heart nearly stopped as he stood there and just stared.

"Elizabeth?" He whispered her name softly and she just gazed back at him with red rimmed eyes. She had a wad of tissue in her hand and suddenly he felt like he needed to hold her, something to remind him of Peter.

"Neal?"

June was looking at them both as he took Elizabeth in his arms and hugged her tight. After a moment of shock she reciprocated, her body trembling as she cried into his shoulder. He felt his own eyes start to tear up but he held back for her sake. Once they were long into their comforting moment, June gently touched both their shoulders and led them over to the sofa, offering Neal his robe as he blushed ever so slightly and pulled it on. Elizabeth didn't seem to mind he was in his pajamas as they did as June instructed and sat. She started to putter around them although she must be hurting too. June had become a force of her own as she stood strong for them both, Neal at one end and Elizabeth on the other end of the sofa.

"I'm sorry... It's all my fault." Neal heard himself speaking before he could take it back just before he felt a slap that woke him from his guilt. Elizabeth wasn't angry she was just crying again, looking at him with a sisterly glance of dismay.

"No... you didn't do this Neal and I won't let you feel sorry for yourself. I just lost my husband and best friend. You lost your partner and friend. He... Peter would be telling you to cowboy up right now."

Her voice was firm as she gazed intently at him then softened her expression as she moved closer and gently brushed a stray hair from his temple. She kissed him on the cheek and took his hand in hers.

"I meant to call you back last night but I was still... I should have said more but I was in shock. I thought I could call and talk and then... I just had to hang up. I'm sorry. I waited for you to call back but then June told me you're not feeling well. Don't... don't beat yourself up Neal. This wasn't your fault. It was just an accident."

She was trying to convince him of her strength but she was still so upset she started to cry again, her face suddenly pushed into his arm as she hugged him and he let her uncertain what to feel. He knew this was his fault. He had argued with his friend and sent him away and then... then he had died. Everyone he cared about died and now he had nothing but guilt to sustain him as he placed an arm around Elizabeth and tried to be there.

They heard the bell chime from the door and June looked between them and then hurried to the door and exited promising to be back soon. Neal nodded at her, his eyes just staring around the room. He couldn't stay here not with Peter gone. They'd make him go back or worse... He shivered slightly at the thought, Elizabeth looking up at him from beneath her long dark lashes. She sniffled before speaking.

"Neal, talk to me. I need to know what happened. You were there. You saw him." She was speaking quietly, pleading with him but suddenly it seemed so clear as he found himself remembering some of his black outs.

"She was alive... Kate. Like nothing had ever happened. We were going to leave. I didn't sell the bonds and we were going to be happy. Peter wouldn't have had to chase me and we... we would never have met." He looked at her almost sadly as if their meeting had caused her grief. She brushed at his hair and shook her head.

"I remember him talking about you. You were all he ever spoke about of all his cases. I don't think I could have NOT met you Neal. Our paths would have crossed at some point." She was trying to understand him but he just kept on regardless, his mind working in a strange sort of fog.

"Meeting... I kept seeing him in places he shouldn't have been like with Wilkes. I got away and yet I saw myself shot and Peter was there. I remember something about a bust at that club but it was after I had already gone." He was speaking without realizing it, looking up and blinking when he realized Elizabeth was snapping her fingers at him to wake up.

"Neal, you need to know Peter really cared for you. You... were like family. He would never have said it himself but he respected you more than you know or think. I wish..." She paused as the door opened and June came back in.

"Dr. Monroe is here Neal. He was able to get here sooner than he thought. Do you feel like talking to him?"

Neal wasn't sure what he wanted, Elizabeth holding his hand as he grasped hers tightly. He was nervous about what was happening to him. He had been hurt before, lost those he loved but this was different. He was losing time and blacking out. Why was this affecting him so much more than Elizabeth and she had lost so much more than he.

"Talk to him, Neal. I'll stay with you." She was smiling at him and he held her hand tighter, nodding.

**()()()**

Dr. Monroe didn't stay but a half hour but it's long enough for him to determine with all the events of the past 8 hours or so that Neal (_and the rest of them_) are experiencing a kind of post-traumatic reaction to the loss of Peter. He's finding nothing obviously wrong with Neal although he does leave a small topical cream for the minor rash on Neal's wrist. Nobody had noticed it in the chaos of the current events. Once the doctor is gone, Elizabeth takes a look at the rash as she helps him put some of the cream on it and a small bandage.

"New jewelry always does that to me, especially if it's anything but pure gold or silver. I don't remember you having a watch on recently." She looked at him curiously but he just shrugged not wanting to explain the story behind the time piece to any one yet but Mozzie and that was before he had noticed the strangeness of it. He thanked Elizabeth for tending him, sharing a bit of a late brunch courtesy of June. The housekeeper had finally showed up. With all the excitement of the past 8 hours June had to call her in when she would have been off. She apologized, trying to make everything right as she brought up food for them and herself. They sat and talked quietly the three of them reminiscing about Peter and trying their best to cope.

"My sister had to go home early. Family emergency on her end. My niece broke her arm. I told her I would be ok. I almost went with her but knew it wouldn't do any good to have me moping there. I just can't believe he's really gone. Neal, tell me what happened that day? I need to know for my own sake." Elizabeth was pleading with him but he wasn't sure he was ready for this. He still felt like it was his fault Peter had died. If he had just talked to his friend instead of acting like a spoiled child who hadn't gotten their way maybe he would have been here today.

"He sent me home early and then he stopped by on the way home. Told me your date night had been canceled." He felt a twinge once he'd said that and saw the color leave El's face.

"I should have just rescheduled that appointment but Peter said it was fine. We would have all weekend. He told me he had to talk to you about something and would be home when I got there." She hugged him, her eyes watery with unspent tears.

"I know what yesterday was, Neal. I'm sorry. I don't think Peter meant to make you work that day but with my own busy schedule I forgot to remind him and he was so worried about things at work. It was lost in the shuffle. I'm so very sorry." She sniffled again as if she might cry and she did, rising as she excused herself to go to the bathroom. June leaned over and took his hand in hers.

"It's going to take time but we'll all make it. I'm going to go set up a room for her down the hall. She shouldn't be alone at a time like this." She patted his hand gently before rising to clear some of the dishes and food from the table. For a moment he was alone, June disappearing downstairs and El in the bathroom. He had to think, his eyes slowly moving down to his wrist as his thoughts went back to the watch. He could almost remember what happened but his mind seemed to hide things from him about what those weird black outs were. He stood and walked over to the bed again, crouching down to feel under the bed. He finally found what he was looking for and placed the object around his wrist over the bandage. He thought he felt a kind of tingle but he wasn't certain, his head throbbing again and his body feeling weak although this time when he looked at the face, the time piece seemed to reflect afternoon light. He saw the small animate part turn towards the nighttime and another small stone softly glow.

_We have no where else to go Nicki. I'm sorry but we'll have to stay here a while longer. Please forgive me?_

He could hear the voice of his mother speaking to him as she had so many years ago. He had been 12 when she died, leaving him to stay with a drunken uncle and cruel older cousin. He remembered their jealousy at his good looks and ability to charm, using it to their own advantage when he was taught their family business. His mother and he had stayed there only because they had been too poor to go anywhere else after his father's death. Her health had been less than good and her brother was her only living family. He had taken them in but had done nothing to help either of them beyond the minimal amount of food and housing. His uncle seemed more interested in his scrawny nephew who picked up on the tricks they taught him quick enough. His cousin was not as good a pick pocket or thief, beating on him to show his dominance. Nick had become tough because of that and learned to hide much of what he felt. He became a bit of a loner though he could blend in when he tried, charming his way into any place he wished.

It wasn't till his junior year of high school he had decided to run away and live on his own. It had to be better than what he was doing and with the skills his uncle had taught him, he could survive without hurting anyone till he found a better way. It was all he knew but he had to leave before they killed him or worse made him a killer.

Neal felt the memories of his childhood long suppressed return as if he were back there again. The headache returned as he felt the throbbing of his temples, an absence of atmosphere around him that seemed to suck the very air from his lungs. He was definitely conscious this time, the voices of the past coming through clearly as he collapsed to the floor and felt the coolness of the wooden boards against his cheek. His eyes stared blankly across at the door and he thought he heard someone gasp, footsteps echoing and fading into the background as he was pulled away from the present and back to his past.

**()()()**

"Hey Shrimp! I told you to get me raspberry. Stupid!"

Nick was pushed back hard, a fist hitting him across the chin as he fell spilling the cold drink all over himself as he hit the ground. He looked up at the tow-haired boy standing over him with a deep evil smirk across his freckled face. He was not a handsome boy but rather ugly with a jutting chin, stuck up nose almost pig-like in appearance but thin with thick eyebrows and dirty green eyes. He'd never seen anyone like his cousin and wondered where he had gotten such traits when his uncle was a much handsomer man. He'd never met his aunt but he had seen pictures and never remembered her looking anything but beautiful like his mother. It made him wonder who this boy's father really was.

"Get up, moron!"

Nick felt himself kicked hard in the side as he oofed and was dragged by the hair upwards. He winced as he fought to get his feet under him and move away from his cousin. The boy sniggered.

"You see how he fears me. He's just a lay about and leech. I don't know what my father sees in him." Noah spoke to the boy next to him as Nick leaned against a nearby wall trembling from a combination of pain, fear and a slight shiver from the cold drink having spilled on him. It had been a slushy type drink which had cost quite a bit for his cousin just tossing it back at him. He wanted to punch the boy but he only had to be patient a little longer. He had enough money squirreled away in a secret spot to get out from under his uncle and cousin's thumb. He would be his own person and leave. His mother was gone so he had no reason to stay here anymore. He had hoped to finish school but he felt his life to be in danger more and more every day he stayed here. He had no real friends to stay with or talk to, shy as he was so he had to depend on himself. He would take the money and run tonight when his uncle was well into his drunken stupor and his cousin was out doing whatever he did after hours.

This felt right, Nick waiting to see what his cousin would do next. The boy dismissed him, walking away and kicking the discarded cup he'd thrown at him. He waited to be sure Noah and his friend were gone before leaving. He had to do everything just right or he would die here as his mother had.

Nick limped home as best he could, going in the back way and entering the room they'd made for him in the garage. He was lucky he could still breath with the car being there and his bed nothing but a cot in the corner in a small utility room. He pulled off his shirt and pants as he entered, closing the door to the garage behind him and tossing the clothes in a hamper. He used the utility sink there to rinse off and clean up the mess his cousin had made and wash a bit of it out of his clothes before hanging them up. He hoped they would be dry by the time he left as he quickly changed into a pair of gray sweats and a white tee. He emptied his books from his backpack and placed them neatly in the corner with his notebooks and everything else. He had already sent a note as his guardian to say he was leaving school and would not be back. Nobody would be the wiser to the truth. By then it would be too late and he would be gone. Best that way.

He quickly started to pack up as much of his clothing as he could, some snacks and water bottles he hoarded and a few other supplies into the backpack. He hid it under his bed as he left the room and went into the main part of the house. His uncle was out for the day on a job so he wouldn't be back any time soon he hoped. It was the perfect day to plan this and he had planned oh so carefully. Nick had to remember to take his clothes off the radiator in a few minutes or someone would figure out what was going on.

_Ding Dong..._

The doorbell rang but nobody ever visited them when his uncle was out. He usually just ignored it when he was home alone but something made him walk over and peek through the peep hole just this once.

There was a man standing there, a big man with heavy brows that made his cousin's look absolutely trim. It was mostly just one huge brow that seemed to blend in with his unruly dark hair that hung over his face and sides of his face in tufts like boar's hair. Nick just blinked uncertain what to think and he didn't want to think why this man was here. He knew his uncle played with some dangerous people so he tried to be scarce when he could be on jobs but he was trapped into doing small odd jobs of thieving here and there for him.

Suddenly the man turned to go, Neal feeling a sense of relief wash over him. He turned to tip toe away when the door exploded and fell against him throwing him to the ground in a mess of splinters and boards. He lay there stunned till someone pulled him up by the shoulder and held him limply there.

"One of Daniel's boys. This one is such a skinny runt I wonder if he'd be good for anything other than mopping the floor with." The man with the brow was laughing mirthlessly as Nick tried to struggle free but a gun in his face made him stop.

"Where is Daniel, boy? Tell me and we'll only cut you up into a few small pieces. The police won't have much trouble finding you." The man and his crew laughed but he just stared at the man fearfully as he tried to get free. The man grimaced at him and hit him with one back handed blow stunning him into submission. Nick felt himself dropped to the floor and someone step over him.

"That garage of Daniel's is pretty air tight and I think I saw his car inside. Start it up and leave him in there. I want to leave him a clear sign of what is to come."

Nick felt himself lifted and partially dragged towards the garage and his room. He didn't remember this being what happened. He had escaped hadn't he? Nick couldn't think straight as he slumped in the grasp of the two thugs and was dropped at the back of the car, he heard hammering and realized they were nailing all the windows and main door shut. He saw them pull out some duct tape his uncle kept for emergencies and other jobs and felt his arms pulled back securely and taped at the elbows. His ankles were also wrapped tightly and one last piece pulled over his lips. He didn't struggle, his head still ringing from the blow and the door hitting him. They dropped him by the exhaust pipe of the vehicle and started to tape up anything else that might help to seal the room a bit better.

The next thing he knew, his uncle's car had been started and he felt warm air that smelled toxic start to blow across his face as exhaust came out of the tailpipe. Nick struggled to move but couldn't. The last thing he heard was them leaving and the door slammed shut and bolted before he realized what was going to happen.

"Mmmph..." he muttered weakly through his gag as he started to come to his senses. He tried to roll onto this side but the scent of exhaust filled the small mostly air tight space of the garage. He was going to suffocate at this rate, Nick realized as he blinked his eyes to keep awake. The neighbors wouldn't come to check on him. None ever had although one lady across the street had once given him some food when she saw him beat up by his cousin till he was black and blue. She had since moved so he had no friends here. Nobody cared for him or would do anything to investigate why he was dead. He figured his uncle would be embarrassed if not worried of blame and hide his body. Noah would help him and Nick would never be heard from again. Who knew of him that they would help?

He started to give a few muffled coughs but it did no good as he lay there and started to hallucinate. He saw himself in a future where he was no longer Nick but someone else. He wore nice clothes and was looking over a spectacular view of the city. Something in the dream seemed real, more so than his current situation but a part of him seemed happy to go. No more hurt and pain and he would never miss his mother or any one else again. He would be free of the world. His mind started to fade and he realized that's what he had always wished for: nothingness. A sense of freedom from the world and its ills.

_Breath..._

He found himself starting to fade further in to the darkness but that voice. Something about it made him listen.

_Breath..._

There was no air and the toxic fumes were filling his lungs.

No... that's not right. He was in a vault full of comic books. Why anyone would collect such crap he didn't know but he was looking for something or had been when he passed out. He had pointed out the kill switch and then his eyes had fluttered shut while staring at someone. He couldn't remember their face although he knew the idea of them gave him some comfort.

_Breath..._

He couldn't breathe! He wanted to follow the voice's instructions but knew the speaker was gone. Nick had caused this... No not Nick but Neal. His name was Neal now. He wasn't a kid anymore but a man not that it mattered as he was going to die one way or another. Today was as good a day as any, his eyes fluttering shut as the voice continued to speak to him and he felt a pressure on his chest as someone pressed against his ribs with their hands. His heart had slowed to a crawl and was stopping, his breath already gone with one final gasp.

**()()()**

There was no Neal Caffrey because Nick Jackson had died that day. His uncle never came home that night but his cousin had been seen fleeing the scene. It was when the neighbors noticed the car had stayed on much longer than necessary and a smell of decay coming from the garage that his body was found a few days later. Nobody knew where the family had gone or who was responsible for the boy's death although authorities were looking for the uncle and cousin in relation to the incident. This was a case that went cold and would stay so until they had more information or found any witnesses to what might have happened.

**(10 years later...)**

Peter Burke saw his wife wiping at her eyes and wondered what soap drama or movie she was watching when he realized she was looking at the news. He quietly removed his jacket and coat and walked over to her side as he locked the door.

"Honey what's wrong?" He was worried when she kept on, pointing at the TV screen. He looked to see she was watching one of those reality crime shows that talks about cold cases and unsolved mysteries. This one was about a 16 year old boy who had been found dead of nefarious means in a garage just outside of the city. She seemed to taken by the story, the picture of the boy plastered occasionally across the screen with the typical highlighted texts that swirled and blinked and did other neat effects.

Peter had to say the boy looked handsome, someone who could have grown up to do good things he thought if he'd had the chance. He started to listen to the story, turning it up and realized the boy had been stuck in a hard situation. It made him sad to think such a good looking and intelligent seeming boy would have died so young. He saw the image of the man they caught in relation to the boy's death when an update blinked across the screen. The man was ugly to say the least.

"At least they caught the bastard who did this. Kid was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't understand how the system could keep such a promising young person in a household as that. His uncle and cousin sound like those punks I keep investigating." He sighed, hugging his wife close as they finished watching the show and turned off the TV. Elizabeth kissed him on the lips as she stood up and started for the kitchen.

"Dinner should be about ready. I was reheating some chicken in the oven. I'll get started on the bread." She was still sniffling as she walked away, the story having upset her terribly. Peter felt an odd sense of guilt about the story which struck him as odd. He usually didn't feel much of anything when he watched these reality type shows about crime and nefarious doings but this one had felt close to home for him but he wasn't sure why.

"You really should get into missing person's, Peter. I think you'd be good at finding people and preventing this kind of thing. That boy should have had a proper home. I just know he would have been happy with us if we'd had the chance to help him."

It was funny how she sounded so certain of that and inside he felt she was right as if he'd known the boy. But they were being silly! This was a ten year old case and the boy would be 26 now. How would they raise a grown man? He tried to think of it but just seemed illogical as he got up and walked to the kitchen. He hugged Elizabeth and used the sink to quickly wash up as he moved to help her set the table.

"I wonder what an adult Nick Jackson would have been like..."

**oOoOoOo**

**Author's Note:** _To quote the Robot Chicken version of M. Night Shyamalan: **What a Twist!** Hopefully I didn't blow your minds too much. I had no idea I was going to do this till it happened. I kind of like it. You'll just have to read on to see what happens next. BWAHAHAHAHAH! ;)_


	4. Chapter 4

**(Chapter 4)**

Peter Burke was one of the youngest agents pulling up through the ranks quickly with his determination and hard work. He was very good at his job and always got his man except for one. He still had to make a name for himself, no big cases yet in his resume.

"Boss, take a break. Besides, you're still covered with dust from that explosion at the bank earlier."

His probie Diana Barriagan was brushing at his suit, finally digging in a drawer and pulling out a lint brush as she handed it to him. Peter smiled at her and took the item as he roll it across his shoulders, sleeves and tried to get the grime and glittery bits from the explosion off him. He pulled a piece of the glittery strips from the lint brush and looked at it curiously.

"What could he have been hiding in there to form this? It doesn't make sense! Looks like confetti." He was talking more rhetorically than anything as Diana nodded, finally taking the brush and helping him with the back of his jacket till it was half decent.

"Thank you Diana. Let me know what you can find on '_The Dutchman_' and I'll have Jones help you. I need to break this case." He sounded so determined, the younger woman smiling and nodding.

"Anything I can do to help. Oh... I left some items on your desk. Your anniversary is this next week..." She winked at him, picking up a file and leaving him with the lint roller. Peter smiled back at her and sighed. His anniversary was coming up and he needed to solve this case with t_he Dutchman_ if possible. So much to do but he needed another eye. Peter got up and made his way from the conference room back up to his office. Hughes waved a couple of fingers his way so Peter made a bee-line for his boss' office.

"You wanted to see me sir?" He looked surprised but Hughes just smiled.

"Yes, Peter. I know you've been working hard to solve this _Dutchman_ case, trying to break a lead. A friend of mine in California with the Bureau told me about a program with C.I.'s he thought we might be interested in. I'm not too crazy about it but she said they've had some good luck with their work release C.I.'s from minimum security and thought I should give it a look with our _Dutchman_ issue. I wanted your opinion."

Peter looked at his boss curiously, nodding as he thought the idea over. What better way to catch a criminal than with one. They'd had C.I.'s in the past but they'd been regular individuals who spied for them or had particular interests or jobs that helped them give advice on cases. This time it would be an insider's view. The idea intrigued him for some reason if only on a short term basis.

"I'll give it some thought. Although the idea of working with someone I would put away kind of bothers me, it might be helpful towards a lead. I'll look into it on my end. Thank you sir." Peter smiled at Reese who nodded, dismissing him after a little chat. He went back to his office, taking off his jacket and taking the lint roller to it with a fury. El was going to kill him if he destroyed another jacket or at least make him go clothes shopping which was even worse. This jacket was a classic! He sat at his desk taking one of the small shiny threads and saving it in a clear film tube before going back to his PC and looking up possible C.I.'s he could use for this case.

**()()()**

Peter had been nervous about this meeting, sitting in the visitors room at the SuperMax waiting for his possible new C.I. Reese had recommended the man seeing most of the other people on the list were either dangerous, in foreign prisons or less talented than most on in the ways of forgers. They had gone through the file several times and voted unanimously that his qualifications, if you could call them that, made him the most likely candidate. Peter had a bad feeling about the meeting but he needed a break in the case so he could forgo any gut feelings if it caught The _Dutchman_. It would only be a temporary arrangement with nothing gained or lost except some time to the con's time in prison.

A few minutes went by before the door opened and a man in an orange jumpsuit, dark brown hair and shifty brown eyes was escorted into the room. The man smirked when he saw the agent, seemingly sizing him up then nodding.

"So, I heard the Feds were looking for help with a case. I've never been one to snitch but for a few years off my sentence I'll try anything once." The man spoke with a raspy Brooklyn accent, smiling as if to hide something which did nothing to reassure Peter's trust in this man. Maybe he had made a mistake or Reese had but the file he had said otherwise.

"There's nothing official yet. This is just the interview. I understand you've done some forgeries in your time. I've seen your work. Any thoughts on other forgers working in the area?" Peter stared into the other man's eyes and saw a wall hiding things, those brown orbs glittering with hidden plans. He could hold a poker face if he had to, keeping his well in hand while he waited.

"Well, as I said... I'm not one to snitch but Rodriquez does a mean Peso if not a nice Euro at times. Angelo... he likes to do bills. The rarer the better. Some of his civil war pieces are in circulation amongst the collectors but you don't look like the kind of guy who collects coins or money. I'd have to say you like sports. Am I right?"

The man seemed be trying to read something of him but sports was pretty general. The con smiled.

"I'd say basketball is your sport but you have a comfort zone so you live in a cushy but not so fancy home with your lovely wife. Am I wrong?"

Peter's gut was kicking him again as he started to wish the interview would end so he finally pulled out the punches.

"Know anything about forged treasury bills or bonds? Think Angelo would do that sort of job if he's selling to collectors?" Peter saw the man lean back and cross his arms lazily over his chest as if he were at home.

"Perhaps but he likes the easy ones like bills. I've heard there may be a new operator in the area. Haven't heard a name but if I were out I could ask around..."

The con's voice trailed off as he held the bait out and Peter just wanted to ignore it. Yes the man seemed to know his forgers; he'd already looked up info on both "_Michel_" Angelo Delgado and Bobby Dino Rodriguez and the info matched up to what he just heard.

"I'll be back with you in a few days. Thanks." Peter got up to leave when the man took his sleeve and stopped him.

"I'll be waiting, Fed."

**()()()**

A week went by and although Peter had second thoughts, Hughes went ahead and brought in their new C.I. to work on the case. He would stay in a halfway house on an electronic anklet with a 1 mile radius when not working with them. Once the case was over the C.I. would go back to prison to finish his now reduced sentence if his help had proved useful. The con was fully aware of the deal and took it readily. There was something about the man that rubbed him wrong but Peter bit his tongue and dealt with it. It was only a temporary job then he could go back to something a bit more ordinary like Mortgage Fraud.

The first stop for the case was Peter taking his new C.I. along with Diana to the airport to check out a communique they'd received about '_Snow White_' and a man carrying something that had made customs suspicious. Peter, Diana and the C.I. were checking out suitcases full of a Spanish copies of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. What would _The Dutchman_ want with all these books? It didn't make sense.

Diana excused herself when the C.I. leered at her a bit too uncomfortably to go talk to the customs officers about the book dealer, leaving Peter and him together. It was a private area of the airport so they could work in quiet. The agent was intent on the secret of the books forgetting only a moment that the other man was there. It was sudden when he felt the crack to the back of his head and he collapsed to the ground stunned. He heard a faint jingling and felt his arms pulled back and his wrists cuffed tightly.

"Wha..." He felt himself flipped over, his tie removed and stuffed in his mouth. The C.I. was smiling evilly down at him, feeling around till he took his gun and cocked it.

"This has been fun. Truly Agent Burke. I appreciate the chance but I think our association ends now. It's a shame I'm going to have to kill you. Thanks for letting me out. Looks like Matthew Keller is back in business."

Keller pointed the gun down and shot him in the chest before shooting off his anklet and running off. Peter choked, struggling with the pain as he found Diana by his side, her hands trying to stem the flow of blood from his chest. She had unlocked his cuffs her face pale and tragic as she looked at him with helplessness before pulling her phone out and calling for help.

He was dying, his body growing cold as he started to feel his consciousness leave him despite Diana's voice. It was then he saw something odd, his mind going back to the show his wife had been watching not too long ago. Nick Jackson... the kid stood before him but he looked older, well dressed.

_Why am I dreaming about a cold case that was never solved?_

Peter's mind tried to figure out the significance of this vision as he fell into the darkness and it was just him and Nick.

_Peter? I'm sorry... I never... I should have let you talk. It's all my fault._

The young man seemed adamant about something but he wasn't sure what he was supposed to hold him at fault for.

_Fault? I don't understand. You're just a figment of my imagination. I saw you on an unsolved cold case show. I just want to see my wife again. I miss her._

Peter figured he must be dead or have lost a lot of blood to be having this kind of conversation but the figment seemed so real... almost familiar.

_I don't know why I'm here but no matter what I do you're there. We always meet and I wanted to spare you. I'm sorry for what happened. If only I'd been less stubborn._

Peter watched the stranger curious of what he said and feeling a kind of understanding. He nodded, reaching out and taking the younger man's arm.

_I forgive you and if I did anything, I'm sorry._

He wasn't sure why he said that but it felt right. Nick blinked at him as if he had said something significant, blue eyes shiny with tears.

_Peter?_

The younger man was fading and the scene was growing dim.

_What is it?_

Their voices were growing quiet.

_Thanks for believing in me..._

**()()()**

_Neal... He's so still._

_Neal wake up!_

_June he's not moving!_

He could hear someone talking to him but he felt cold, frozen in ice if not encased in a berg. It was silent and dark where he was but he could hear them speaking, some one's light touch on his face as they brushed his hair.

_Dr. Monroe is going to meet us at the hospital. The paramedics should be here soon._

Neal felt like answering... moving to see who they meant. He felt his body shivering suddenly and a gasp escape his lips.

_He's coming to. Neal? Wake up... it's Elizabeth. I can't lose him too._

She was crying, his eyes slowly opening and looking up at blurry forms crouched around him. Someone brushed at his hair gently.

"E..l?"

He could barely talk, his body frozen stiff it seemed but slowly thawing out as he felt himself starting to wake up more and more.

"I think I hear sirens. Be right back..." June left and it was just Neal and Elizabeth his head resting on a pillow on her lap. She was crying, eyes red but she was smiling softly at him.

"It's ok Neal. The paramedics will be here. They'll take care of you."

She brushed at his hair and he grasped her hand in his.

"I saw... Peter. I kept finding him even when I... changed the past. He was there. I thought... if I left he would be safe but he wasn't. I need to fix this, El... He's still out there." He tried to sit up but she pushed him back down shaking her head at him.

"Rest, Neal. Peter's gone... He can't come back." She was crying more now and he felt guilty but knew he was right, his memory of events so much clearer suddenly. He fiddled with the watch on his wrist and saw two crystals left. El looked at him worriedly.

"Neal, what are you looking at. I think I hear June coming." She sat up a bit straighter, continuing to hold him gently. Two men in white came in with a stretcher and approached them. Elizabeth shifted herself to help them lift Neal up and onto the stretcher as he clung to her hand and tried to plead with her.

"He's alive, El. I can bring him back!" He sounded like he was ranting he thought as he saw the stricken pitiful look on her face. He must sound crazy but he knew if he could just figure out the pattern he could stop what happened. He just had to know how and why. What did the three events have in common that he had gone back to? Neal tried to think what was their relation when he felt his head grow heavy from exhaustion. The last event had drawn quite a bit of strength from him as he slump back against the stretcher and felt his eyes close. Someone brushed a hair from his face and he saw Elizabeth when he opened them again.

"You'll be ok, Neal. We'll all be ok. Can I ride with him please?" She was talking to the paramedics and they nodded as June said a few words to them and followed them downstairs. Neal was only vaguely aware of the feeling that something had fallen off his wrist as they carried him down the stairs. His eyes popped open as he heard the time piece slowly bounce down the stairs and roll under a small table at the end. He tried to point at the item and get June to pick it up but she didn't understand what he was asking her, his words less than coherent as his mind seemed to leave him and he passed out.

**()()()**

Neal wasn't sure where he was but it was cold and he shivered as he stood there in the darkness trying to discern anything that might be a kind of landmark to give him an idea. He was curled up in the gloom hearing voices and seeing flashes of memory of significant moments in his life. It seemed like he relived each and every incident that had formed his life only things would change where they shouldn't and in every scene he somehow met up with Peter or saw a version of the agent he didn't know about at the time despite his original absence.

_Make it stop... Please. I don't understand why... why me?_

Neal was covering his head with his arms and trying to figure out how to escape the visions that swarmed and seemingly attacked his psyche.

He heard a soft jingling and a weight across his right wrist looking down to find he had the watch again. He could feel his eyes widen as the glittering gold of the band and body sparkled up at him and he felt the sun although he was in gloom reflected off the face golden as a sunset. He could almost sense some impending doom to come. Neal didn't want to know what it might be but the watch wanted him to see something else. He noticed the fifth crystal glow and the little animated window draw fully into the night side a kind of chime ringing out that hadn't been there before. The sound made him think this was a more significant moment of all the ones he had gone through.

_Just take me there. Let me see and let me go... Tell me what you want!_

He was resigned, feeling the familiar pain of pressure in his head, the nausea and weakness as the darkness turned even darker. It was only momentary till he found himself walking down the street, a familiar one and a young woman with shoulder length blond hair stood waiting for him. She was going to witness protection and he was to wait with her. She dug around in his purse but he was distracted as his cell rang. He pushed it to his ear annoyed.

"Not now Mozzie..."

He listened to his friend hearing something he didn't want to know. Peter had the music box? Why hadn't he told him? He'd lied to him!

Anger filled him and he suddenly needed to go, hanging up on his friend after a quick but not so kind good-bye. He turned to the woman without a thought, excusing himself and leaving as he saw the FBI sedan pull up. He didn't think he cared anymore. Let Peter deal with this case and Kent on his own now. He was done and to Hell with Peter!

Neal felt the anger grow in him as he hailed a cab and ducked inside, giving directions back to June's. The young woman looked at him curiously as he left and she was escorted into the FBI sedan. He turned his attention inward as he thought things through. Peter had lied to him! They had the box all along and Mozzie said that he had seen the sheet music in Diana's bag. Damn both of them and the Bureau! If he never saw Peter again, it wouldn't be too soon.

The cab ride continued with him fuming over the situation till he reached June's and entered. She saw his face and let him be although he knew she was curious. He was happy she didn't bother him as he ran up the stairs and entered his room. He was still pissed, slamming the door shut and locking it behind him as he walked over to the kitchenette and pulled out a bottle of wine. He quickly grabbed a glass from the sink and poured some as he started towards the terrace. He took the bottle with him knowing he wasn't going to stop till he was well and fully drunk. Even then he wouldn't forget how angry he was at Peter.

He had been drinking for some time, how long he wasn't sure, his mind fuzzy and his hand barely able to hold the glass as he sat in the cool evening out on the terrace. He stared up at the moon and stars and gave a drunken curse to his ever making a deal with Peter. It was right after this outburst when he felt his cell ring again. He was inclined in his current mood to let his voice mail take it but something made him pick up.

"Caffrey."

He blinked when he heard the voice on the other end, someone crying so that he could barely tell it was Elizabeth Burke. He sat up as much as he could in his current state.

"I do... n't... understand. El?" He was too drunk to make much sense of her words, hysterical as she was but suddenly two words brought him back to a mild sense of sobriety.

"_Peter's dead._"

He stood despite his body swaying from too much wine but he did it and he nearly dropped the phone but somehow managed to hold it in his hand as he listened to Elizabeth try and explain. It was then he heard a knock on the door and turned to look.

"_Neal? Open up it's Diana._"

Diana was here? He was torn between the cell and trying to walk to the door without falling over as he stumbled across the Spanish tile of the patio and through his apartment to the door with heavy steps. He was barely able to fumble the door open as he gazed out with a stupid grin he knew. He was too drunk to control his expressions although he knew he should be sad. Peter was dead. He had wished it and it had happened.

Agent Barrigan stood there looking at him with a slight look of disdain. She also looked a bit pissed but more so she looked sad which wasn't something he normally saw in the strong warrior-like woman. He suddenly remembered the cell at his ear and told Elizabeth to hold on a moment, his voice slurring as Diana made her way inside.

"Neal... you were supposed to stay with Jessica but that's not what I came to talk to you about."

She looked upset again, a tremor to her voice. He just kind of stumbled as he closed the door and made a drunken flourish at her towards the sofa. Diana frowned at him sniffing.

"You've been drinking." She sounded disappointed but continued to what it was she wanted to say but he interrupted her.

"You lied... Peter lied. You have the box and didn't tell me!" He was only sort of yelling at her as he slurred too much for it to sound like a threat. He was just pissed, the wine making him sound more mellow but he turned and started to open the door, making a motion for her to leave but she grabbed him by both shoulders and stared into his eyes as he watched his cell fall to the floor and the battery case crack open. He was talking to someone but who? His mind was muddled by the wine.

"Neal... get a hold of yourself! Peter is dead!" She came right out and said it and then suddenly he realized who he had been talking to. Elizabeth had been on the cell crying and trying to tell him what happened. He looked back down at the phone with a quivering lip and then looked at the agent with a stricken expression.

"Peter can't... he was with Kent. Too much sec... sec... safe...ty..." He was trying to figure it all out as the news started to seep in. She shook her head, her eyes suddenly wet with tears.

"He was with Kent but something happened. Nobody knows what but when Kent's assistant showed up she found them both dead in Kent's office. It looks like the same thing that may have killed the other tech we were investigating."

Neal swayed on his feet finally collapsing to a sitting position on the floor as he watched Diana try to catch him but fail. He was shaking his head.

"No... he can't... Peter's a liar but he can't be dead. I have to con... front him. You both lied... about the box. No... he's not dead. Lying. Liars all of you!"

Neal found himself curling up into a ball on the floor as Diana tried to get him to sober up and make sense of it all. He shook his head, covering it up and trying not to hear her.

_Lies... _Peter wasn't dead... he had saved him. He had found the recorder pen that Jessica stole and Peter had lived. Not dead. Peter couldn't...

Suddenly he was back in the gloom, the scenery even bleaker than before but the watch was still there on his wrist as he did his best to pry it off It remained firmly in place on his wrist as he noticed the rash under his bandage spreading.

_Let me go. Stop this! Just take me and bring him back! El needs him. Please..._

He was curled up and pleading with the powers that be or whoever was behind this to stop this torment as he lay there and tried to disappear. He wanted the torture to end. His eyes somehow could see the watch in the gloom, face reflecting a lighter shade of sun, a grayer shade as if the first rays of light in the early morning. He watched the animation turn just past the night and a bit of the day showed. He saw the last of the six pyrite crystals glow and he knew another memory would come to torment him.

_Just take me... please. I'm sorry. I should have listened to him. I should have..._

He heard his thoughts trail off as he felt the pull, head throbbing yet again and then a blur of white.

**()()()**

Someone coughed.

"Neal..."

He turned to see Peter looking down at him. He must have been distracted if he didn't hear or notice the agent come down to scold him for not working. He sat up straight again, a deep frown on his face as he looked up at the older man. Peter looked about to say something but Neal beat him to it, knowing full well what he was going to say.

"I know I know... get to work. You can go back to your files, Peter." Neal spoke testily at his friend who seemed about to say something again then stopped with an almost hurt expression before he nodded and left towards the stacks of files and cases. Neal didn't like fighting with Peter but they'd been on eggshells since his last big screw up. If only he could go back and turn things around, he'd do it.

The thought made him do a double take but whatever he had been thinking about left him and he was soon working on the next file in earnest in hopes he could leave soon.

**()()()**

It was around 2 pm that Peter told Neal he could go home early. The consultant had been more than surprised, knowing that they were far from done with the work at hand but there had been no arguing with Peter when he said to go. Neal nodded, putting away the files he had finished and then handing the unfinished stack which had shrunk considerably to the agent. Peter barely said good-bye to him as he headed back up to his office and started on the small stack he'd acquired from Neal. He watched his friend from below before finally pulling closed his jacket and heading out.

When Neal reached the lobby and exited the building into the coolness of the afternoon air he felt a chill not just from the weather or season but the almost dismissive attitude Peter seemed to have had today. They had all been on eggshells but this had been different. There had been no acknowledgment of him as if he wasn't too important. He sighed thinking maybe he was seeing more into than he was but another part of him, a quiet part that had been piping in lately, seemed to think otherwise. He pushed it aside but that voice like Mozzie's own paranoia had a way of making him turn and listen.

No... he was just being stupid!

Neal sighed, walking further into the throng of people but feeling a sudden panic overcome him that made him feel he had to get away if only for a minute. He needed to get out of this crowd. Neal started to run and finally ducked into a nearby alleyway and crouched behind a dumpster breathing hard. His breath came out in tiny puffs of steam as he tried to calm and keep his sanity. He had to especially today.

It took a few minutes to get himself calm again but soon as he did he regretted his current position and choice to hide. His nose was cold and frozen but it didn't keep him from smelling the nasty aroma wafting from the dumpster he hid behind. He crinkled his nose taking a gloved hand to push himself up as he used the dumpster for leverage. It shifted slightly and he noticed a kind of glint just underneath along the edge of the dumpster bottom. There was something there! He stood but then promptly bent over and pulled the object from beneath the small space under the metal box. He took out his handkerchief reluctantly and wiped at the object's surface, eyes widening in disbelief at the find.

"It can't be..." He was just staring at it as the item glittered back at him enticingly. Neal gazed around but nobody was around so what was the harm in taking it. He could quietly advertise the item was found or have Mozzie ask around but if nothing came back couldn't he technically keep this? A broad smile crossed his face as he pocketed the item, wrapping it gently in his handkerchief and walking down the opposite side of the alley towards the street.

**()()()**

Neal made it to June's and found Mozzie waiting for him when he went upstairs. His friend had gotten his message and now he could tell him if what he suspected was true. Mozz was already refilling a glass with more wine when he turned at the sound of the opening door and paused like a deer in headlights.

"Please, continue Mozz. I know you come for my company and not my impressive wine collection." He smirked teasingly his friend nodding as he continued to pour wine into the glass and grabbed up another.

"Well you can't help having access to some great wines staying here at June's. Speaking of which, you have to try this one. She just brought it up a few minutes ago. It's superb!" He was already pouring the second glass with some, corking the bottle as Neal closed the door and went to join him out on the terrace. It was just barely 3 PM now but he knew Peter was probably still burning that candle in the office. The thought made him cringe with an almost guilty feeling. He should be there helping his colleagues not fuming over not getting the day off like some little boy sulking for being punished. He'd spent the last hour or so walking the park and thinking about things before he'd finally called Mozz about his find and gotten over the worse of his disappointment over the day. If only he could just redo it...

_Re... Do..._ Why did that sound important to him? He crinkled his brow in thought till he came to again.

"Earth to Caffrey. Communique from Mozz..." His friend was waving at him before he blinked and looked at Mozz somewhat irritatedly.

"Sorry, just... Mozzie, ever had a deja vu moment?" He got up and walked to the edge of the terrace and leaned on the edge looking over with a far away glance. He tried to think if he should go back to work and help out. Footsteps neared and he felt Mozzie near him.

"Yeah, why? You look like some thing's bothering you, Neal. I know what day it is. Suit made you work I heard. I told you they were heartless..." Mozzie paused when Neal turned and glared at him holding up a hand in surrender. He didn't want to hear anything negative about Peter especially today.

"I'm just saying..." He didn't finish as he took a sip of his wine and Neal kept looking over the edge at the city. She had been here, Kate and he missed her every day since. All he had wanted was the day off to visit her, talk and leave a few flowers. Was that too much to ask? Apparently in his case it was. He was an ex-con on a leash who had to jump when told and had no life of his own. He sighed.

He had been here before. He recognized everything happening trying to figure out why he knew what was going to happen. He felt a kind of strange electricity in the air as he turned and went back inside with little word to his friend but hearing Mozzie's steps following on the Spanish tile till the sound changed to a softer step on the wooden boards of the floor within his apartment. He plopped down unhappily on the couch and leaned back eyes shut. Something wasn't right. He had a bad feeling.

"Neal, I can take flowers if you want." Mozz sounded sincere enough or maybe the wine was mellowing him out. Neal shook his head as he sat up straight and rose again distracted by this feeling that this had all happened before. He walked over to his jacket he had hung by the door and reached inside the pocket till he pulled out the item he had found. As he touched the item he felt a kind of dread wash over him and suddenly he felt nauseated. Mozzie was watching him as he walked back and dropped the item into his lap. When the item left his hands, he suddenly felt better.

"Can you tell me what that is?" Neal sat back down waiting as his friend blinked, put down his wine glass and started to unwrap the handkerchief. As the item was revealed it seemed to glitter even more brightly as Mozzie held it up with two fingers as if it were on fire and dangled it in his grasp. He gave a small gasp of amazement.

"Neal... where in the world did you find this?" His friend sounded truly impressed. Neal felt a small smile curve his lips but that feeling of nausea stuck with him.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. So it is what I think it is?" Neal was hopeful although now he felt a kind of dread as he watched the impressed look of his friend, glasses reflecting the shiny gold surface back at him as he held it and kept twirling it round to see all sides. The motion was making him feel more nauseated, Neal's head throbbing painfully. He wanted to get up and go to the bathroom.

"Just tell me. I just can't... these are so hard to find and this one looks about as near mint as you're going to get. Neal... this is an incredible find!" Mozzie just kept admiring the item more and more squinting at something on the back of it as he moved it closer to dangle right over his nose. Neal would have sighed but instead he found himself standing and excusing himself to run to the bathroom. He knelt before the toilet and threw up. Mozzie was knocking on the door, his tone worried.

"Neal? What's wrong? You don't look so good. Neal?"

Mozzie's voice passed through the partially open door as Neal finished his fit of nausea and rose. He flushed the toilet and stumbled to the sink to wash his hands, face and rinse out his mouth. Mozzie poked his head inside curiously.

"Are you ok, Neal? You look like you've seen a ghost. Some thing's wrong."

The little guy was still holding the watch which glittered enticingly at Neal. He knew he shouldn't but something drew him to the watch till he finally just swatted it from Mozzie's hands and it flew across the floor to the wall and fell with a heavy loud jingling.

"Neal! This is a rare object and hard to find! Geesh... Someone had this inscribed. Neal we have to get rid of this! No way the suit will believe anything you say about this. This watch is so incredibly rare I don't see why it would have been under a dumpster."

Mozzie still sounded like he thought Neal was lying but obviously he didn't care one way or another his concern more for his friend's actions as Neal's eyes glanced down in an almost fearful manner at the shiny yet rare timepiece. Neal didn't understand his misgivings but nodded tiredly.

"Fine. Toss it for all I care. I just... I don't want it anymore. Just take it away." He saw Mozzie look at him with a bewildered glance.

"Neal... this is a rare piece of art. It's one of five made! It's..." He was looking for a way to describe it when Neal piped in, holding up one hand.

"I know what IT is. I just realized I don't want the heat this will bring. Get rid of it. Please..." He pushed past his friend, Mozzie taking the watch in the handkerchief and nodding.

"Neal you're finally making some sense. The Suits wouldn't have let you keep something like this once they had found out about it. Especially Peter. You know he'd always suspect you stole it and so would every other suit. Nobody just finds something like this on the street especially a '_former_' con man." He got up and walked over to the sink and washed his hands before walking back. Mozzie spoke as he pocketed the watch in the handkerchief.

"You made the right choice, Neal. It would have just brought you bad luck. Trust me. There's some bad hoodoo going on if you're just finding rare items like this floating around. Some one's setting you up. I'm just saying..." Mozz had seen the look on Neal's face to shut up but stayed standing, his eyes moving down to the item in his pocket with a nervous gesture.

"Thanks Mozz. I have a feeling you're doing me a bigger favor than I know." He smiled at the con and Mozzie just shrugged with a confused glance at his friend as he headed for the door.

"Now you're beginning to sound as bad as me."

**oOoOoOo**

**Author's Note:** _More twists but hitting the final stretch. Tell me what you think! :D_


	5. Chapter 5

**(Chapter 5)**

After Mozzie's departure, Neal had moped around his apartment still upset at the fact he had missed out on the significance of the day. He could always go tomorrow he supposed as he finally rose from the chair on the terrace and stood. He felt like a walk if nothing else. He needed some fresh air.

Neal walked back into his apartment closing the French doors as he walked to the door, pulled on his coat and gloves and found himself heading out of the room and down the stairs. Something definitely felt different about this although it was only a feeling he had. Things had changed. He knew that much and maybe it was just a change in attitude but he needed to clear his head and then he was going to visit Peter. It was the least he could do. He flipped his fedora onto his head, something light in his spirit compared to earlier. June noticed his change from earlier, his landlady watching him from the bottom of the stairs as he approached with a smile on his face.

"Well now. You look much happier than earlier. Something must have happened." She moved a bit closer, tightening his scarf a bit and straightening his lapels like a mother helping a son. He blushed slightly nodding.

"I guess you could say that. I just... I don't know. Things don't seem so bleak anymore." He shrugged and she just grinned back up at him.

"Well you know the old saying: Things aren't always as bad as they seem. There's always a silver lining." She tweaked his nose ever so slightly before they hugged briefly and he headed for the door. He turned, walking backwards towards the door as he called to her.

"I'll be back soon. I'm just going for a walk!"

She nodded back at him, waving as he did before he turned to exit. Neal stepped outside and was just locking up the door when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Neal?"

He turned at the touch and familiar voice and saw Peter standing there. Something in him felt elated at seeing the agent where he had been angry before. Neal blinked as if not believing what he was seeing but why would he be surprised? He didn't quite understand this feeling of relief at seeing his friend and partner.

"Peter..." He couldn't find the words to say which was probably best as the agent raised a hand for him to stop.

"I'm sorry, Neal. I should have let you have today off but I forgot. Elizabeth reminded me. Date night's canceled." He looked a bit upset about that but more so he seemed to be looking closely at Neal. There was a guilt there for having ignored the younger man's needs for the sake of work. The glance made Neal feel guilty for his own selfishness at sulking for not getting the day off. He should have just dealt and then asked about going to do what he needed.

"It's ok. I'm not angry. I'll just go tomorrow." Neal felt so much better suddenly as he let his feelings go and knew it was better he had his friend with him than the day off. The past was the past and he had time enough to think about it. He saw Peter smiling at him, patting him on the arm.

"Well, hey... I was thinking of going out for a bite. The car's right over there. Want to join me?" Peter was pointing across the street as Neal nodded with a grin.

"Sure."

Peter grinned this time, moving towards the street as Neal followed. Something felt like the universe was finally where it should be. Neal walked beside the agent, both men deep in conversation about something as they started across the road. Neal moved ahead ever so slightly, turning round as he walked backwards towards the Taurus, his eyes on Peter.

Neal had barely opened his mouth to call out when he saw the car about to hit Peter. The agent didn't see it as Neal cried out, moving towards his friend to stop what apparently was inevitable. He could hear the screech and thud, see himself looking over the edge of the terrace as if this had all happened before.

_Nooooo..._

He was rushing towards his friend to push him from the path of danger when he heard the screech of brakes and a loud thud.

_Why? He has to live! Don't... do this. Please..._

Neal felt the thought escape into the ether as he felt pain and his head hurt. His cheek lay against something rough and cool, his body aching, eyes shut. He was afraid of what he might see as he kept them tightly closed. Someone was nudging him while he heard other voices and sounds around him.

_I'm sorry, Peter. I should have saved you. I..._

"Neal! Neal wake up! Neal!"

Someone was nudging him where he lay, a familiar voice talking urgently to him as he tried to disappear into the blackness. The nudging seemed to ground him as he slowly opened his eyes and looked up into two worried brown ones.

"Neal... stay with me. (I need an ambulance... My friend was hit by a car. Yes... he's awake but he's hurt.)"

Peter was on a cell talking to someone as he looked down at him and kept shaking him gently to keep him conscious. Neal felt confusion thinking this didn't seem right and yet it was. He blinked, swallowing hard and trying to speak but his throat felt tight.

_Peter? You're ok?_

He looked up at his friend feeling the darkness and cold start to descend on him again. His body ached and he suddenly realized he was laying on the ground, a car bumper inches from his face.

Car... he had pushed Peter out of the way of the car. He heard the screech of the brakes and smelled the rubber when the tires slid to a stop or had tried but hit something. Him.

Neal had done it. He had changed the outcome for the better. He thought about Elizabeth crying, missing Peter and all the sadness his selfish thoughts had brought. For some crazy reason he started to think of Jimmy Stewart and "_It's a Wonderful Life_" as his eyes grew heavy and he started to pass out. Someone slapped his face and he woke up although only a bit, seeing a very worried Peter looking down at him.

"Stay with me Neal. The ambulance is coming. OVER HERE!" Peter rose long enough to wave someone down, Neal watching him as he seemingly disappeared beyond the edge of the car bumper. His eyes started to close again and he thought he heard another voice.

_It's only a matter of time..._

Neal found himself back in that gloom he had thought he was free from but he wasn't afraid this time. He had fixed what he broke and now he was ready for whatever lay ahead. He squinted through the gloom to see a shadowy figure there in the distance walking towards him.

_Who's there? Who are you?_

The figure kept walking towards him till he could clearly see an old man glancing back at him. There was something very familiar about the man but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He noted the man wore a leisurely white suit, expensive but it hung loosely on his thin frame, a matching white hat pushed over a still thick mop of salt and peppery hair. There was a hardness to the other man's expression, his eyes looking tired and sad as if they had experienced a lifetime of regret they could not forget. Something about those eyes made him think he had seen them before.

_I had hoped you would make the right choice. I chose the route of anger and stubbornness and lost my best friend in the process. He had tried to make me see better if not beyond my own needs. His wife never got over his death nor did I. Just know you took the right path, Neal._

The stranger started to turn before looking back and staring at him with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

_Treasure your friendships and your current path. Don't let the past determine your fate. Time heals all wounds..._

The man tipped his hat at him before walking away into the darkness again, the gloom swallowing him up as the dream faded and Neal felt himself starting to come to.

**()()()**

Neal woke up to quiet. It was actually a relief in some ways but made him nervous as he tried to shift his weight and found his body aching. There was a crinkling sound as he opened his eyes to find himself with a large amount of bandaging around his midsection and his left arm in a sling. His head ached a bit and he reached up to rub his temples to find large knot on his right temple and a bandage over it.

He gave a quiet groan of discomfort as he looked around at his surroundings and figured out he was in a hospital room. He leaned back against the pillows wondering why he was here as he tried to think back. Neal had been dreaming about something but his head hurt too much when he tried to think about what. It probably wasn't important as he leaned back against the pillows and tried not to think about much. There was a soft click to his right as he heard a door open and soft footsteps enter the room. He cracked an eye open to find a familiar figure tiptoeing into the room.

Neal opened his eyes to see them more clearly when they turned and saw him looking.

"_Neal? Hey sweetie._" Elizabeth Burke said in a soft whisper. She was smiling as she approached him and took his hand in hers. She sat down on the chair by the bed and looked relieved as he stared back. He blushed when she started to brush his hair from his face, her eyes watery with some emotion (_maybe happiness or gratitude_) but what would she be grateful for him for? He just gazed at her with a chagrined look uncertain how he felt although something told him he was content if nothing else.

"_The doctor wasn't sure you would wake up today. Your injuries aren't major but he said you got a pretty good knock on the head if anything. Peter tried to keep you awake but you passed out at the scene. They were worried you had a concussion but if you're awake..._" She looked absolutely happy that he was fine which made him feel both happy and uncomfortable. Neal was never very good at this kind of attention especially when he felt he didn't deserve it. She seemed to feel his nervousness and gave him a gentle hug.

"_It's ok, Neal. You did good although I wish this hadn't happened. The driver was feeling guilty. She wanted to make sure you were ok so she asked us to relay when you woke up. She sent a card and flowers._" Elizabeth pointed at one of several small vases and balloons near the window. Her voice was still a quiet whisper and he was wondering why she was keeping her voice so quiet if they were alone.

"_El? Why are we whispering?_" He hadn't said anything but he was still so uncertain what he wanted to say. A strange kind of guiltiness was keeping him unsure of himself. She blinked pointing across the room at the sofa.

"_Peter's been there since last night. I finally made him sleep. You didn't see him?_" She gave him a funny smile and he turned his head to the left to find the figure of his friend and partner slumped across the small sofa by the window. He hadn't noticed the agent sleeping there or maybe it was because Peter wasn't snoring for once he missed him. It could also be the sofa and his suit were almost the same color. Who knows but now he could see Peter was ok and the guiltiness seemed to flow from him like a bad dream in the sunlight. A smiled curved his lips slightly upward.

"_All night? How long have I been here?_" He could kind of remember the incident but his head still hurt when he thought too much. She brushed at his hair to soothe him.

"_Since 6 PM when they brought you in. June's been frantic to know how you were. She came out of her house when she heard the commotion. There's an overnight bag in the corner with some stuff for you. June packed it herself and brought it after I got here around 8 last night. Peter was so frantic about how you were. He kept saying it should have been him. He was so worried about you, Neal._"

She squeezed his hand in hers looking into his eyes as she leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.

"_I'm just glad you're ok. Thank you. I don't know what I'd do if Peter wasn't here._" She was still gripping his hand in hers as she looked over at her sleeping husband and smiled happily. Neal just watched her and knew that whatever happened he never wanted to see her smile go away. He wanted that smile to always be there and Peter. They had each other's back; Both men two sides of the same coin if anything.

He felt her grip loosen on his hand as she rose and went towards Peter. She sat gently on the edge of the sofa and slowly roused the sleeping form of the agent who looked a bit surprised as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"El? I'm sorry, I guess I slept a little bit longer than I thought. How is Neal?"

Peter's voice was heavy with sleep but he sounded well and that's all Neal needed to hear. He moved as little as possible so he could sit up comfortably and watch his friends from his side of the room. It was a few minutes before Peter was alert enough to peer past his wife and notice Neal was awake. The agent blinked, brown eyes suddenly wakeful as a small smile form across his lips. He rose from the sofa and made his way, one arm around his wife, towards the bedridden con.

There was a kind of moment of awkwardness, El feeling the tension but knowing she should leave to let them talk.

"I'm going to get you some coffee, Honey. Cream and sugar?" She was looking at Peter but he was still peering at Neal with a relieved expression. He turned after a moment and nodded vaguely, hugging and kissing El as she excused herself. Once she was gone, Peter dropped down into the seat she had been using and looked at Neal curiously.

They were quiet for a while, Neal knowing something good had been accomplished but he wasn't sure what. Peter looked thoughtful about something himself as if trying to speak but uncertain what to say.

"Peter..."

"Neal..."

They both spoke at the same time then stopped, smiling but Neal let Peter go first. The agent blushed ever so slightly, patting the younger man on the hand.

"I'll just say it... Thank you Neal. I was worried when you passed out. You were so still it took the paramedics a moment to find your pulse and breath. I thought..." Peter couldn't quite say it, standing up and pacing across the room a moment then turning back.

"I had a nightmare. You were in it."

Peter was running a hand through his hair, face a bit pale. Neal just looked at him and blinked.

"Gee, thanks Peter. I like it when I'm a source of _fear_ for my friends." He said it teasingly but Peter just kind of ignored it with a nervous chuckle.

"Well it wasn't that kind of a nightmare. You... you didn't exist. I only knew about you because you were a cold case on a show El was watching." He looked kind of uncertain with a half shrug.

"It was kind of weird because it's like I knew that I should know you but I didn't. I couldn't understand why I'd be worried about someone from a cold case I didn't know. Then El said you should have had a better set of parents and talked about how she would have adopted you..."

Neal listened patiently feeling a weird sort of deja vu with the story he was hearing but not sure why. He let the agent finish and smiled.

"Interesting. So I didn't exist? I'm sure your lives were quite dull without me." He was smirking now but Peter was still in whatever literal frame of mind he was in nodding before he stopped and looked up at Neal smirking back.

"Actually, a world without Neal Caffrey... well the thieving, conning and forging one would be nice. I wouldn't mind the one I have now though."

He was smiling, looking a bit less tense than he had been. He suddenly slapped the side of his leg as if remembering something.

"Mozzie... called. Was asking for you about something. Told me to tell you not to worry. Anything '_I_' should worry about?" Peter's eyes narrowed but Neal shook his head.

"No. Let's just say I think I had the equivalent of _Pandora's box_ in my hands or at least I think I did. Maybe it was a dream. I don't know anymore. It didn't grant me anything I would have liked but it did make me realize I should treasure certain things more." Neal left his remark cryptic uncertain how he wanted to tell Peter of his feelings. They were friends definitely if not family. Peter nodded after a moment as he moved back to the seat and sat again. He looked pretty exhausted.

"You should sleep, Peter. Those bags under your eyes are big enough to check in at the airport!" Neal was grinning now as Peter gave him a mock glare.

"Funny, Neal. I guess next you're going to tell me the TSA would pull me over for having too many carry ons."

Peter looked up as he started to giggle, Neal trying hard to stifle his laughter.

"Hey, can I used that next time we raid an airport? I'll make sure they check those bags under your eyes." He winked at his friend who just threw up his hands and sighed.

"Hardy Har Har... I should make them charge you duty on that silver tongue of yours. How much is silver going for these days?"

Neal clapped as best he could with one arm in a sling, Peter bowing his head in jest.

"Good one, Peter. Now if you could just make it funny..."

**(The End)**

**oOoOoOo**

**Author's Note:** _I know some have told me this was kind of a depressing story. I blame hormones and that blasted cold I had. Other than that, I'm going to attempt a happier holiday story hopefully. I've been playing with ideas but not sure what I'll do if I have the time to between now and Christmas. Just watch and see. Thanks for reading!_**  
**


End file.
